Gems of Wisdom - It's called Mindset

It's called Mindset
As I was passing by the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg.

No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. I saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
   
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.

"I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.
   
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Wise say, “Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt.”

Gems of Wisdom - Be Thankful

Be Thankful
Be thankful when you don't know something ... for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times ... during those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations ... they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge... which will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes ... they will teach you valuable lessons.

It's easy to be thankful for the 'good' things ... yet, a life of rich fulfilment comes to those who are thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive ... find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings!

Gems of Wisdom - Handling criticism

Handling criticism
Rather than trying to avoid criticism, expert performers welcome it. They seek out coaches and advisors who can give them constructive, sometimes even painful feedback. They then use this feedback as a guide for steady improvement.

Here are some steps you can take to handle criticism effectively:

1. Acknowledge Your Error - Acknowledging a mistake is not the same as acknowledging that you are an inferior person/a failure. If you believe the criticism is accurate, take full responsibility. Don’t blame something or someone else and don’t make excuses. If appropriate, offer a diplomatic apology: “I’m sorry that my actions led to that result. It certainly was not my intention.” Again, if appropriate, ask for suggestions on how you can improve your performance the next time.
   
2. Take Corrective Action - After you’ve heard the other person out completely, and listened to any suggestions for improvement, state/communicate your eagerness to improve in the future. If appropriate, describe any actions you will take at his time to counterbalance your previous error.

3. Acknowledge the other person’s motive - Thank the other person for the feedback and make sure to state how valuable you consider it. This demonstrates your ability to use criticism as a way to improve – an essential quality of a leader. In addition, let the other person know that you are open to receiving his or her feedback in the future.

Even when you don’t care for the style in which criticism is presented, be thankful that the other person is willing to give you feedback, and along with it, an opportunity to improve.

Gems of Wisdom - Practice those qualities which you believe in

Practice those qualities which you believe in

If kindness, patience, honesty, and generosity are qualities that you believe in, you make every effort to practice those qualities at work.

Treat people with kindness and respect. If someone is late or makes a mistake, you try to be patient. Even if it’s your job or appropriate to reprimand someone, you do so from a foundation of love and respect.

In a given day, you have so many opportunities to practice patience, acts of kindness, and forgiveness. You have time to think loving thoughts, smile, embrace others, and practice gratitude. You can practice being non-defensive and a better listener.

You can try to be compassionate, particularly with difficult or abrasive people. Practice the way you greet people and deal with conflict. You can practice in virtually everything that you do.

Gems of Wisdom - Stay focused in the present!

Stay focused in the present!

So often, our attention wanders off into the future. We think (and worry) about many things all at once – deadlines and potential problems. We anticipate objections and hassles and things that are likely to go wrong. We often convince ourselves how difficult something is going to be, well in advance of the actual event.
   
Or our attention is drawn to the past – we regret a mistake we made last week, or an argument we had this morning. We sometimes fret about “last quarter’s poor ratings,” or relive a painful or embarrassing event. And whether it’s in the future or the past, we usually find a way to imagine the worst.

A great deal of this mental activity is about things in the future that may or may not ever happen. And even if they do, the anticipation of it is usually worse that the actual event, and is rarely helpful. Or it’s about past activities that are over and done with; things that may have actually happened, that we no longer have any control over.

Get completely absorbed in what you are doing. Be in the present!

Gems of Wisdom - The Ant Philosophy

The Ant Philosophy

Over the years, I’ve been teaching kids about a simple but powerful concept: the Ant Philosophy. I think everybody should study ants. They have an amazing four-part philosophy.

Here is the first part: Ants never quit. That’s a good philosophy. If they’re headed somewhere and you try to stop them, they’ll look for another way. They’ll climb over. They’ll climb under. They’ll climb around. They keep looking for another way. What a neat philosophy—to never quit looking for a way to get where you’re supposed to go.
Second, ants think winter all summer. That’s an important perspective. You can’t be so naive as to think summer will last forever. So ants gather their winter food in the middle of summer.

An ancient story says, “Don’t build your house on the sand in the summer.” Why do we need that advice? Because it is important to think ahead. In the summer, you’ve got to think storm. You’ve got to think rocks as you enjoy the sand and sun.

The third part of the Ant Philosophy is that ants think summer all winter. That is so important. During the winter, ants remind themselves, “This won’t last long; we’ll soon be out of here.” And the first warm day, the ants are out. If it turns cold again, they’ll dive back down, but then they come out the first warm day. They can’t wait to get out.

And here’s the last part of the ant philosophy. How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for the winter? All he possibly can. What an incredible philosophy, the “all-you-possibly-can” philosophy.

Moral: Never give up, look ahead, stay positive and do all you can.

Gems of Wisdom - Don’t draw conclusions until you know all the facts!

Don’t draw conclusions until you know all the facts!

One old man was sitting with his 25 year old son in the train. Train is about to leave the station. All passengers are settling down their seat. As train started, young man was filled with lot of joy and curiosity.

He was sitting on the window side. He put out one hand and feeling the passing air, he shouted, "Papa see all trees are going behind".

Old man smiled and admired son’s feelings. Beside the young man one couple was sitting and listening to all the conversation between father and son.

They were little awkward with the attitude of 25 years old man behaving like a small child. Suddenly the young man again shouted, "Papa see the pond and animals. Clouds are moving with train". Couple was watching the young man in embarrassment. Now it starts raining and some of water drops touch the young man's hand.

He is filled with joy and he closed the eyes. He shouted again, "Papa it's raining, water is touching me, see papa".

Couple couldn't help themselves and ask the old man.

"Why don't you visit the Doctor and get treatment for your son."

Old man said, “Yes, We are coming from the hospital as today my son got his eye sight for first time in his life".

Moral: Don’t draw conclusions until you know all the facts!

Gems of Wisdom - The law of the seed

The law of the seed

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?"

Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you better try more than once."

This might mean:

You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.

You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.

You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, idea...

And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.

We stop feeling like victims. Laws of nature are not things to take personally.

We just need to understand them - and work with them.

Gems of Wisdom - Attitude!

Attitude!

How we react, what we do or say, all depends on our attitude. It determines whether we'll be happy or sad. Attitude can help, or hinder us in all areas of our lives.

If your thoughts are constantly of doom and gloom, you will receive the same in return.

Your thoughts and your perception of the world influences all that you do, and all that you are, and all that you can be.

Changing your attitude is really changing the way you see things. To begin the change, you must start looking for the good in every situation, rather than the negative.

So, you see the choice is yours. If we compare attitude to swimming, which are you doing?

Are you swimming - even against the currents and the waves, you keep going, you see your destination and you are taking action to reach it.

Are you floating - just allowing the waves to carry you, you end up where ever the water takes you.

Are you drowning - you see the waves and the currents as difficulties you cannot overcome.

Gems of Wisdom - Build a large trust fund

Build a large trust fund

Every one of us has a trust fund that really matters: the trust of other people. The only question is, how large is it? Many people, not knowing how important a trust fund is to their own success, are practically bankrupt in this critical account.

The way to build a large trust fund is simple and straightforward. It involves being accountable for your actions, however large or small, doing what you say you are going to do, delivering on your promises, being on time, and so forth. Anything and everything you do that reinforces your own trustworthiness is like money in the bank. Accountability is derived in both small and large doses. For example, if you tell someone you are going to call them at three ‘o’clock, or pick them up at the railway station, and you do so on time, as you say you are going to do, you earn small credits toward your trust fund.

Likewise, if you tell someone that you’ll send them a copy of a book you’ve been discussing, and you actually do it, you earn credibility with that person. If you don’t do exactly what you say you’re going to do, while any individual action or inaction may not seem like a very big deal, it decreases your credibility and reduces the size of your trust fund.

Obviously, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, show up late, and occasionally forget appointments. It’s far easier and wiser to avoid making commitments that we can’t keep than it is to make promises, however small, that may eventually reduce the size of our trust fund.

Starting today, speak and behave with your trust fund in mind. Before you say you are going to do something that someone else is going to depend on, check in with yourself. Ask yourself, will I be able to keep this commitment? Remember, the size of your trust fund depends on it.

Gems of Wisdom - Implications of thinking big!

The implications of thinking big are widespread and impressive. Thinking big is a magic door opener that broadens your perspective and allows you to see new opportunities. Thinking big makes life easier and a lot more fun.

I’ve been repeatedly reminded by successful people in virtually every field that thinking big is one of the keys to success. Let’s consider a few examples. Successful insurance salespersons insist that it takes the identical amount of time to speak to someone about a million-dollar policy as it does a one-thousand-dollar policy.
   
The bigger your visions, the larger your potential for success. If you’re trying to sell homes for a living, as an agent, it takes the same amount of energy to ask a wealthy person for their listing as it does a low-end homeowner. You can think small, or you can think big.
   
As usual, the primary reason many people think too small is fear. Thoughts like, “I can’t speak to a room full of people,” “I can’t risk taking on a larger project,” and “I couldn’t ask the boss to have lunch with me” fill the mind and are taken too seriously. When fearful thoughts enter the mind, try to banish them. The fear you are experiencing is almost always self-created and usually unnecessary.
   
Could you be thinking in larger terms? In most cases, the answer is yes! There may be ways that you can reach more people with the same amount of effort. Regardless of the business you are in, the first step is to eliminate any fear or worry that is getting in your way. As your worrisome thoughts gradually disappear and become less appealing, new ideas and insights will begin to emerge.

Gems of Wisdom - Surround yourself with experts

Many people surround themselves with “successful” people and “experts”. Many are frightened that people who are more successful won’t be willing to spend time or share their ideas with us. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The reality is, accomplished people love it when someone takes an interest in their success; they love to share their wisdom, good ideas, or business secrets. It makes them feel wanted and needed.

I’ve worked on projects with some very famous, successful people. When people ask me, “How in the world did you convince them to participate,” they are often shocked at the simplicity of my answer. I respond honestly by saying, “I just asked them.” You’ll be amazed at the number of people who are more than willing to help, whether it’s the owner of a successful grocery store, a top-producing insurance salesperson, a well known author, a physician, a lawyer, or an excellent teacher.

Most want and are willing to offer advice. In fact, asking someone you admire and respect for their feedback and ideas is the greatest compliment you can offer them. Not all, but most highly successful people (in any field) are available to help others. Usually, it’s the people fighting to climb to the top who are the most frightened, insecure, or unwilling to offer guidance.

If you do ask for help or advice and are turned down, you can bet that the next person you ask will be more than willing. If you want great advice and you want to avoid big mistakes, seek help. Surround yourself with winners.

Gems of Wisdom - Learn the magic of nonattachment

Being attached to an outcome, holding on, takes an enormous amount of energy, not only during an effort but often after an effort is complete, after you’ve failed, or been let down, or were dealt a bad hand. Being non attached, however, creates emotional freedom. It suggests trying hard, really caring, but at the same time being completely willing to let go of the outcome.

Attachment creates fear that gets in your way: what if I lose? What if the deal doesn’t go through? What if I’m rejected? What if, what if, what if … your belief that everything must work out exactly as you want it to with no glitches creates enormous pressure!

Non attachment, on the other hand, works like magic. It allows you to have fun in your efforts, to enjoy the process. It helps you succeed at whatever you are doing by giving you the confidence you need. It takes the pressures off. You win regardless of the outcome. The act of not worrying helps you focus and stay on purpose. It helps you stay out of your own way.

You know in your heart that, even if things don’t work out the way you hope they will, everything will be all right. You’ll be okay. You’ll learn from the experience. You’ll do better next time. This attitude of acceptance helps you move on to the next step in your path. Rather than being lost or immobilized in disappointment or regret, you simply move on – with confidence and joy.

Gems of Wisdom - Becoming a better listener!

People love to be listened to. So much so, that they will pay therapists enormous fees to listen to their stories and complaints. Consumers love to be listened to as well. They will happily pay good amount for those people who are smart enough to understand that this is what they want – and what they demand.

Unfortunately, only a tiny percentage of persons do understand, or are willing to implement, this important understanding.

When you listen in this manner, you may be shocked at the positive response. When people feel that they are listened to, they also feel appreciated and valued. Feeling listened to is such a rare experience that when someone does feel listened to, they tend to tell others about it.

Listening is like a magic formula that turns ordinary people into loyal, happy customers.

One final tip: If you want a closer relationship with your friends or colleagues, the best place to start is by becoming a better listener!

Gems of Wisdom - Drop all negative references to your past

One of the most severely limiting beliefs that many of us have is that the person we were yesterday is the person we have to be today. This belief keeps us tied to our past mistakes, habits, and limitations.

We somehow buy into the notion that if we weren’t successful yesterday, we certainly can’t be successful today or tomorrow.

If you can see how ridiculous and self-defeating this belief is, you can make an instant shift toward success. What prevents us from tapping into this potential is our own mental ties to the past. Letting go of your past is like taking a set of heavy chains from around your neck.

Our past has no power other than the power we give it. One of the most dynamic and significant changes you can make in your life is to make the commitment to drop all negative references to your past, to begin living now. The positive energy you create may shock you. New doors and opportunities will open.

As your past habits creep into your consciousness, simply acknowledge them and let them go. Focus on what you can do today, right now in this moment.

Gems of Wisdom - Change yourself rather than trying to change the world

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he came back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather carpet.

Definitely, this would need thousands of cows’ skin, and would cost a huge amount of money. Then one of his wise servants dared himself to tell the king, “Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money? Why don’t you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet?”

The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a “shoe” for himself.

There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story: to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world.

Gems of Wisdom - Many times we feel as though we are worthless

A well-known speaker started off his public speech in a strange manner – by holding up a Rupee 1000 Note! Holding up the Note high in the air in one of his hands, he addressed the curious audience, "Who would like this Rupee 1000 Note?"
   
With great cheers almost all of them raised their hands with the shout, "I want it", "I want it”!! He said, "Oh! That’s nice. Well, I am going to give this Note to one of you... But, first let me do this." Then, he crumpled the Note in his hands vigorously & now showed the awkwardly wrinkled 1000 Rupee Note by holding up high in his hand. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
The same hands went up in the air this time too.
   
"Well", he replied, "What if I do this?" and he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe like a mad man. It seemed he is deriving great merriment in his unusual act. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. It was so smudgy that no one could recognize it now as a 1000 Rupee Note. "Now who still wants it?" Strangely, now also, all the hands were up in the air with equal cheers & spirit.
  
Now he addressed his audience with great feeling. "My friends," said he, "You have all learned a very valuable lesson today. No matter what I did to this valuable Rupee Note, all of you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth the same - Rs.1000/-
   
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt of shame & insult by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come in our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. In the eyes of God, you are the same "most precious jewel of His".

Gems of Wisdom - Recognizing an opportunity

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers. The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!

The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.

So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles.
He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.

The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about mid-afternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.

So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.

Gems of Wisdom - Think problems as speed bumps

Rather than labeling the issues that come up during a typical work day as problems, think of them as speed bumps (speed breakers). An actual speed bump, as you know, is a low bump in a road designed to get your attention and slow you down. Depending on how you approach and deal with the bump, it can be a miserable, uncomfortable, even damaging experience, or it can simply be a temporary slow down – no big deal.

If you step on the gas, speed up, and tighten the wheel, for example, you’ll hit the bump with a loud thump! Your car may be damaged, you’ll make a great deal of noise, and you can even injure yourself. In addition, you’ll add unnecessary wear and tear to your car, and you’ll look foolish and obnoxious to other people.

If, however, you approach the bump softly and wisely, you’ll be over it in no time. You’ll suffer no adverse effects, and your car will be completely unaffected. Let’s face it. Either way, you’re likely to get over the bump.

Problems can be looked at in a similar light. Depending on how you approach and deal with the problem, it can be a miserable experience, or it can simply be a temporary slowdown – no big deal.

Approach the problems like speed bumps - softly and wisely.

Gems of Wisdom - Ask for what you want

It is astonishing what you can accomplish by simply asking for what you want – help, forgiveness, an idea, another chance, a break, or whatever. And not only can you get what you want by asking for it, but often the person you are asking will thank you for taking the initiative.

If it’s so obviously helpful and important to ask for what we want, why do so few of us do it? Once again, the answer is fear. We worry about the outcome. We’re afraid of rejection or a negative response. We might be worried about offending someone or being perceived of as weak, or of taking advantage of our relationship. We may feel we don’t deserve help.

For a multitude of reasons, we allow past negative experiences and/or our own made-up fears to taint our present opportunities.

It’s actually quite arrogant and self-righteous to assume that others aren’t as willing to help. I’m not the only nice guy around. The key in asking for something, large or small, is to be sincere in your beliefs that, deep down, others want to help you. You must approach your request by assuming that the person you are asking is just like you – he or she has an inner longing to be of help to someone.

Once you remove the fear of asking for help, your wisdom and common sense will instruct you when and how to ask.

Gems of Wisdom - Let go of fearful thoughts

If you gathered up all the fearful thoughts that exist in the mind of the average person, looked at them objectively, and tried to decide just how much good they provided that person, you would see that not some but all fearful thoughts are useless. They do no good. Zero. They interfere with dreams, hopes, desires, and progress.

Fearful thoughts take many different forms. Sometimes they sound reasonable: “I’m just being careful, so I’m taking my time.” Other times they are tied to your past: “I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.” Occasionally, fears are cleverly disguised as being realistic: “Most people fail, so I want to be absolutely sure before I get started.” I could fill page after page with other examples. Yet when you take a close, honest look at every fearful thought, there are threads of similarity. All of them are explanations or rationalizations for why something shouldn’t or can’t work. They are usually justifications for quitting, or for not getting started.

Fearful thoughts hold you back, not some but all of the time.

A critic, especially a fearful one, will look at this advice and say it’s unrealistic, simplistic, and/or foolish. The problem with overcoming these objections is that, on the surface, they sound reasonable. Let me assure you that I’m not suggesting you ignore the facts and take unnecessary and/or foolish risks.

What I’m talking about here are the fears that clearly and directly interfere with your dreams – the fear of rejection, the fear of failure; thoughts like “What will everyone think of me? I might look foolish,” or “I don’t think I can do it, I don’t have the time, or the experience, or the confidence.” These common, ongoing fearful thoughts are the dream snatchers of our own making.

Gems of Wisdom - Avoid the trap of reaction spirals

It’s a rare person who can avoid the trap of reaction spirals. This is the dangerous tendency to overreact to something – and then compound the problem by over analyzing it. Here is a typical example: someone criticizes some aspect of your work. You overreact to the criticism and become defensive. Then you spend the next half hour analyzing the critical comments, convincing yourself they are incorrect. A whirlwind of thoughts passes through your mind. You focus on the criticism. The more you do, the worse you feel, and the more tired you become.

The truth is, in a negative state of mind, we expend unnecessary energy, make very poor decisions, and lose our creativity and sense of joy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could nip these reaction spirals in the bud?

You can! The trick is to see them coming and to commit, in advance, to “short circuiting” them. With every negative reaction comes a negative feeling – a feeling of irritation, annoyance, or impatience. We often use these feelings to justify further negativity. For example, we say to ourselves something like, “I have a right to be angry.” Now that we’re focused on our anger, we think about other instances that make us angry, and so on. This fuels our negative feelings and creates a negative spiral.

If, instead of compounding our negative feelings, we used them as a signal to alert us to potential trouble, we would be in a much better position to stop the cycle before it got out of hand.

Gems of Wisdom - Banish your doubts!

Most of us spend a great deal of energy every day of our lives doubting our abilities – to our great detriment. We doubt ourselves at practically every turn; we doubt our abilities to write well, speak to a group, come up with a new idea or solution, overcome an obstacle, market a product or service, or negotiate with a difficult person.

Many times, we question our self-worth, how much we deserve to be paid, or how valuable or talented we are to an organization. We doubt our ability to overcome rejection, start over, or confront a challenge.

Banish doubt from your life – all of it. This doesn’t mean you should start doing foolish things or making childish decisions. It means you should start trusting in yourself. True obstacle lies within the doubt itself – and all doubt lies within your own thoughts.

It’s silly to hold on to any doubt in your life. It does no good. All doubt is a waste of energy and interferes with your natural ability to do things. Whatever doubts are lingering in your mind, let them go.

Gems of Wisdom - As you treat others, so shall you be treated

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. What are some other ways of saying this magical formula? Let’s see. What goes around, comes around. As you treat others, so shall you be treated. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. There are many variations of this.

All you have to do to ensure that you will be treated fairly, respectfully, and with kindness – and to ensure that others will reach out to help you and praise you – is to do these things yourself.

Become a thoughtful person. Offer assistance. Be nice. Reach out to others. Become even more generous. Say “Thank you.” These, and hundreds of other similar little gestures, are the ways you can reach out and tell the world you care.

Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Ultimately, what you offer to the world is exactly what you get back. So, if your goal is to be Krishna Conscious, the most important thing you can do is help others be Krishna Conscious.

Don’t make the mistake of becoming upset or frustrated if your acts of kindness don’t come back immediately. The universe has its own set of rules and its own sense of timing. Be patient and loving.

Gems of Wisdom - Encourage creativity in others & have faith in them

Most people, given the right environment, are hard-working, talented, creative, and productive. They want to please others just as you and I want to. Unfortunately, however, most people are hardly ever exposed to an ideal working environment.

When you encourage creativity in others and have faith in them, it’s like creating the ideal conditions for a garden.

You are “planting the seeds” for an environment where success is most likely to occur. When you plant a garden, you want to have the right type of soil, moisture, and sunshine. When you build people up – instead of pushing them down – you create the psychological equivalent.

The same principle applies whether you are hiring a housekeeper, an accountant, or anyone else. It also applies to your children, your spouse, your friends, and your neighbors. It always works.

When you believe in someone and when that person knows that you believe in him / her, magical things can happen. Do your part by creating the ideal working conditions. Be kind, patient, and supportive. Then, sit back and watch what happens.

Gems of Wisdom - Something of the past

Anytime you are fixated, immobilized, absorbed in, or even overly concerned with something that is over – whether it happened this morning or ten years ago – constitutes reverse gear.
   
The reason people find it so difficult to get out of reverse gear is that they can so easily justify being there. In other words, they argue for their “right” to be in reverse by saying things like, “But he did sabotage the deal,” or “She did criticize me in public.” People will use the fact that events actually took place as evidence to support their anger and frustration. What they usually fail to see, however, is that right now, in this moment, the event they are frustrated about is over. The only factor keeping it alive is their memory, their own thinking.
   
Obviously, it’s important to learn from our past, from our mistakes. I can assure you; however, that being in reverse gear will not help you do so. To learn from our past experiences, it’s helpful to gently reflect on the way we have done things. Reverse gear isn’t gentle. In fact, it’s harsh.
   
The way out of reverse is to notice how it feels to be in reverse. If you can observe yourself – your mind, your thoughts, your attention – focused on past events, or past frustrations, you can gently bring your attention back to the present. Training your mind to stay out of reverse can be a little like training a puppy to stay at your side. The puppy will stay for a minute, and then dart away. Your mind is like that, too. It can stay focused for a minute or two, then dart backward to an annoyance from this morning or a frustration from yesterday. The most effective way to train your puppy is to gently lead him back to your side. The same approach works with your mind as well. As you notice your thoughts drifting backward, remind yourself that the past is over and done with. Then, gently and easily, guide yourself back to the here and now. All it takes is a little patience and some practice. Pretty soon, your tendency to be in reverse gear will be a part of your past.

Gems of Wisdom - Try something different

Most people are stuck right where they are. The reason they’re stuck, however, isn’t usually due to circumstances, incompetence, or lack of opportunity, but a simple unwillingness to change, to try new things.

We can make smaller, inner changes on a day-to-day, moment to moment basis – changes in our attitude, reactions, and expectations. I’m talking about being willing to take new risks, and face old fears.

Over and over again I hear people saying things like “I’ve always done things that way” or “That’s just the type of person I am.” These things are said as if they are carved in stone. It is amazing what you can learn by simply opening your mind and trying new things.

Starting today, tell yourself that you are going to do something, however small, a little differently. Perhaps you can be more friendly to the people you work with. Maybe it’s not too late to overcome your fear of asking others to help you, or for their advice whoever you are, whatever you do, there is always something you can do a little differently.

You may find that you love the tiny changes you make and that you can open exciting new doors by making relatively small adjustments. If you’re okay with the changes, you might want to try some other changes as well.

Gems of Wisdom - Less you worry about your problems, the easier they will be to solve

Deep down, we all know that for every problem there is a solution. Many times, the solution is obvious to a dispassionate observer, which is the primary reason corporations as well as entrepreneurs hire outside consultants.

Often, the reason we cannot see these obvious solutions is that we are trapped in our emotional reactions and habitual ways of seeing life.

The alternative to dealing head on with problems is to clear your mind instead of filling it with painful, confusing details. Quiet down, reflect, and listen.

Allow your wisdom, that softer part of your thinking, to surface. More often than not, seemingly out of nowhere, you will have an insight, an answer to your problem.

The less you worry about your problems, the easier they will be to solve!

Gems of Wisdom - Stop complaining about your circumstances

It’s extremely rare to find a successful person who whines, complains, and frets about his circumstances. This is despite the fact that he may have overcome great obstacles to achieve his level of success. On the other hand, it’s extremely common for struggling individuals to continually blame their circumstances for their lack of joy and happiness.

The real question is: what came first – the attitude or the success? The answer, in virtually all cases, is that the winning, positive attitude came first, followed by a lifetime of success.

All it takes is a simple decision; the decision to stop yourself from falling into the habit of complaining about your circumstances. At first it may be difficult – even funny – to observe how often you complain.

Habits can be hard to break. But in this case, it’s well worth the effort. As an excuse of complaint comes to mind, gently shoo it away. Don’t worry about it too much. You’ll quickly get used to the nicer feelings that come from a life without complaints.

Gems of Wisdom - Let go of the fear that if you're relaxed or happy, you're going to fall

When you eat too much, the energy that is usually directed toward normal body functions – healing, cell division, metabolism, and all sorts of other good stuff – must go toward digestion. This makes you feel sleepy and lethargic. You lose motivation and energy.

There is an emotional equivalent. You can extend this same metaphor to your tendency to be overly serious and immobilized over little things. When you are angry, bothered, and annoyed, virtually all the mental and emotional energy that could otherwise be used for creativity, spontaneity, and mental ambition is taken away.

When you focus on things that irritate you, it interferes with the process of creation. It keeps you down, stuck, focused not on the wonder and mystery of life and its many possibilities but on what’s lacking, what’s wrong, and all that makes you mad and frustrated.

As you lighten up, relax, and unwind, you open the doors of creativity and joy that were previously hidden. So, starting today, remind yourself that it’s okay to relax – in fact, it’s more than okay, it’s downright important.

Gems of Wisdom - No one is “all right”

Whatever one may desire, the ultimate end is happiness. Nobody can deny this. But if a diseased fellow thinks, "I am happy," that is false happiness. A diseased man cannot be happy unless the disease is cured. Sometimes we go to a diseased person and ask, "How are you?" "Yes, I am all right." If he is all right, why is he lying down? He is not all right. He is artificially saying that "I am all right." What is this "all right"? Similarly, people are thinking, "I am happy." What is their happiness? A learned man always sees, "What is the value of this happiness? I will have to die, I will have to accept old age, I will have to suffer from disease. And as soon as I die, again I will have to enter into the womb of a particular mother to take birth again." So where is the happiness? Ignorantly if we accept something as happiness, that is not happiness. Full of anxieties always: "What will happen next?'' They're suffering, but they are accepting, "I am all right.'' So this is called maya. Real happiness is when you are free from birth, death, old age, disease. Otherwise, where is your happiness? But if you think that "Although I am dying, I am happy," that is another thing, a fool's paradise. Bhagavata says, “Purify your existence, and you'll get perpetual, eternal happiness.” So everyone is working hard for happiness, but how happiness can be attained in diseased condition? So cure the disease. If you go when there is ailment, if you go to a physician, "Sir, cure me." "Why?" because it is impediment to happiness. Similarly, the real disease is birth, death, old age, disease. You cure this, then you get real happiness.

Gems of Wisdom - Stay out of reverse

Reverse, in a psychological sense, works the same as the reverse gear in your car – it takes you backward. And, like your car, if you want to change direction and begin moving forward, you must shift gears completely. It’s impossible to move forward in reverse gear.
   
The way reverse sounds in day-to-day living is this: "Can you believe what happened yesterday? Those guys were jerks. Every time I work on something, it gets messed up. That’s the sixth time this week our deliveries were delayed. I’m still mad at what she said to me." There are an unlimited number of possible examples. Anytime you are fixated, immobilized, absorbed in, or even overly concerned with something that is over – whether it happened this morning or ten years ago – constitutes reverse gear. I challenge you to take an honest look at how often you (and probably most people you know) are focused in reverse. You may be shocked.
   
The way you can tell if you are in reverse gear is simple. It will feel heavy and serious. You won’t be moving forward; you might even be moving backward. You’ll be complaining about things, people, circumstances, events, rules, problems, and concerns that are, for the most part, over and done with. Being in reverse saps the joy out of whatever you are doing. It’s boring, unforgiving and counterproductive.
   
As you notice your thoughts drifting backward, remind yourself that the past is over and done with. Then, gently and easily, guide yourself back to the here and now. All it takes is a little patience and some practice. Pretty soon, your tendency to be in reverse gear will be a part of your past.

Gems of Wisdom - There is no miracle

One man went out of his village, and after ten years, he came back, advertised himself that "I have become successful in yoga practice." So naturally villagers surrounded him. "Oh, what yoga practice you have learned?" "I can walk on the water." "Oh?" So the arrangement was that he'll cross the river, walking on the water. One old man came and said, "Sir, it is very wonderful, but it is two paise worth." "Why?" "Now, you will walk and go the other side; I'll take a boat, pay him two paise. I'll do the same thing. So what is your credit?" So those who are actually intelligent men, they will question, "What actual profit you have made?” Let us say you are a chemist and you combine acid and base and you make smoke, an explosion or whatever. To somebody ignorant, that's a miracle. But for everything there is a process, and so when you see a miracle, it's just ignorance of the process. So-called transcendentalists who have no real stock of knowledge they are fond of these miracles, and for the most part, because the innocent public is generally foolish, therefore they accept these magicians as saintly persons. So one who does not know these things, they say, "Oh, these are all stories." It is not story. It is no miracle. They are all possible. So there is no such thing as miracle. It is a process of doing. One must know how to do it. There is no miracle. We don't say anything miracle. The real knowledge means science or knowing everything about something. So this Krishna Consciousness is not a miracle, it is science, and because we are Krishna conscious, therefore we know everything.

Gems of Wisdom - Take responsibility by creating an ideal working environment

You’d be amazed at what people can (and will) do if you not only give them a chance but also believe in their potential. It’s important to know that everyone has unique gifts and talents. It’s your job to assist in bringing those gifts and talents out into the world.

What happens to someone when she is insecure, resentful, or frightened? Very simply, she loses most of her motivation and other positive work-related qualities.

Consider the following example: You have an assistant. Every day when we walk in the door, you remind him how incompetent he is. You point out his weaknesses and flaws. You belittle him in front of other people. The question is how does your assistant feel? It’s hard to know for sure, because people react differently to the same set of facts. But it’s a good bet that he’s frightened, insecure, resentful of you, or, most likely, all of the above.
    
Most people, given the right environment, are hard-working, talented, creative, and productive. They want to please others just as you and I want to. Unfortunately, however, most people are hardly ever exposed to an ideal working environment.

Rather than sitting back and waiting for people to be perfect – and being frustrated when they are not – take some responsibility in the process by creating an ideal psychological working environment.

Gems of Wisdom - The Painting on the wall

There was a king who was a great admirer of art. One day an artist came and said to the king, “Oh King! Give me a blank wall in your palace and let me paint a picture on it.”

The artist was given the job. Just then, another young man said, “Oh King! Please allow me to work on the opposite wall. I too am an artist.”  The king said, “What would you like to make?” The man said, “My Lord, I shall make exactly what that man will make on the opposite wall. Moreover, I shall do so, without looking at his work. I would even request you to have a thick curtain put up between the two walls so that either of us cannot see the other.”

Everyone in the king’s court, including the king was intrigued. He decided to give the young fellow a chance. The following day a thick curtain was put into place and both the artists got to work. The first artist brought in a regular supply of paint, oil, water etc. The second one worked with some cloth and a bucket of water. After a month the first artist told the king that his work was complete. The king sent for the second artist and asked him, “Young man, when would your work be ready? I am coming to see the first wall this evening.” The man said, “My Lord, my wall is ready too!”

The king went to see the first artist’s wall. He was very, very impressed with the painting and gave a hefty sum as a reward to the artist. He then asked for the curtain to be opened up. Lo and behold! The same painting was to be seen on the opposite wall too! Amazing! But true! Each line, each minor detail was exactly as it was on the first wall. But this man had not been seeing what was going on, on the other side of the curtain. So how had he done it?

The king wanted to know the secret. He gave a double reward to the fellow. Then he said, “Young man, I am indeed very happy with your work. But you must tell me; how did you do it?”

The lad said simply, “It’s very easy! I just polished the wall every day till it shone like a mirror!” It was a wall made of white marble! The reflection of the painting across the room, showed up in it!

That is what it means to polish yourself. World is a reflection of you. Whatever you are, the world will seem to be that too. If you are happy, the world will look to be happy. If you are sad; jealous; angry; restless... that is what the world will seem to be to you!

Gems of Wisdom - Warmth in human relationships

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.
  
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
  
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.
The husband just said, "I am with you."
  
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.
 
No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
 
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. Take off all your jealousies, un-forgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think. Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

Gems of Wisdom - Honesty

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, "Your Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale."

The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others.
   
Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves – more than anyone else.

Gems of Wisdom - Be a good listener

A slight improvement in our listening skills can pay enormous dividends in the way of better relationships, enhanced performance, and yes, even stress reduction!

Take a moment to reflect on your own listening skills. Do you truly listen to your colleagues? Do you let them finish their thoughts before you take your turn? Do you sometimes finish sentences for other people? In meetings, are you patient and responsive – or are you impatient and reactive? Do you allow words from others to sink in, or do you assume you know what the person is trying to say, so you jump in?

There are a variety of reasons why effective listening is very important. First of all, people who listen well are highly respected and sought after. Truly great listeners are so rare that when you are around one, it feels good, it makes you feel special.

Good listeners are easy to be around, so, quite naturally, you want to reach out and help them. Therefore, when you become a better listener, there will probably be plenty of people in your corner to offer assistance. People tend to be loyal to good listeners because they feel acknowledged and respected.

Effective listening helps you to understand what people are saying the first time they say it, thus allowing you to avoid a great number of mistake and misinterpretations which, as you know, can be very stressful. If you ask people what frustrates them and makes them angry,  many will tell you that “not being listened to” is right near the top of their lists so, being more attentive to what others are saying also helps you avoid many, if not most, interpersonal conflicts.

Gems of Wisdom - What is Maturity?

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence or destruction.

Maturity is to have patience.

Maturity is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of the long-term gain.

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging set-backs.

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities; then they do nothing.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed -- and the wisdom to know the difference.

Gems of Wisdom - If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging

A great football coach once said,” Just because you’re doing something wrong, doing it more intensely won’t help.”

Yet, how often do we do just that? We are making a mistake, getting ourselves into trouble – and, instead of backing off, reflecting, and doing it differently, we roll up our sleeves and do the very same thing even more intensely!

The same pattern exists in many areas of our lives. Many people have a great deal of conflict to manage. Whenever a potential new conflict arises, or the environment or circumstances seem to be encouraging that development, instead of backing off and looking  for new ways to defuse the situation, they charge straight ahead, as always – repeating their identical patterns and responses, taking the adversarial approach – and, once again, find themselves in the middle of another drama or conflict. Then, frustrated and stressed, they assume the world is to blame, or that they need to find more effective and more aggressive ways to deal with things. This is the essence of being in a vicious circle. The same essential problems come up over and over again, unless and until you see your own contribution – and vow to do something differently.

The solution is simple, but not always very easy. The trick is to recognize when your part of the pattern is being repeated; for example, “Here I am, arguing again,” or “I’m upset by the very same things – this sure feels familiar.” Then, rather than clenching your fists, feeling frustrated, filing your mind with stressful thoughts, and trying the same old thing, you instead relax, back off, and empty your mind. Soften and try to see the situation in a whole new way.

Gems of Wisdom - Be willing to take advice

Generally speaking people don’t take advice, even good advice. This is true even when the advice is free and when it’s offered with love. Think about yourself. How often do you really, honestly take someone else’s advice? How often do you say to yourself, or out loud, “That’s a great idea. That’s a much better way of doing it than the way I have been doing.”

In order to grow, we need to see things differently. We don’t want to do the same things over and over if they’re not working well. Instead, we want to open our eyes to new and improved ways of doing things. But how can we see things differently if we refuse to take to heart the suggestions from others?

Sometimes, the reason we don’t take advice is pure stubbornness. We want to do things our own way – even if it’s not working! Other times, we avoid advice out of fear. We might be frightened that we’re going to look bad in the eyes of someone else, or that we’re going to seem incompetent. Or we might be fearful that the advice we get isn’t going to help. Sometimes we’ve received bad advice or too much advice, and we vow to not repeat that same mistake.

Life is so much simpler when you involve the strengths and expertise of others. After all, if you absolutely knew what to do to make your life better or more successful, you’d be doing it already. But if you’re struggling in any aspect of your life (and we all do), you need advice. So take the advice.

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Once upon a time, there were three people who went to watch drama together. One of them was far-sighted, another one had a hearing problem, and the other had a twisted head.

After the show, they were judging the drama.

“Today’s show had great singers, but the costume design was poor,” said the person who had farsightedness.

“The costume was perfect, but the sound was too low,” said the person who had hearing problem.

“The sound was loud and the costume was fine. Everything was great, but the performance stage was lopsided,” said the person who had twisted head.

From the story above, most people do not admit their shortcomings. It’s because the person, who had farsightedness, cannot see things in clarity, but complains about the costume; the one, who had hearing problem, cannot hear things clearly, but complains about the music; the one, who doesn’t admit his twisted head, but complains about the performance stage.
   
According to statistics, the vocabulary most often used in our daily communication is either “I” or “me”. Aren't conflicts among human and disputes among nations, the results of over-emphasizing one's opinion?

Accept sincere advice and the reality of truth given by others. One who is willing to take advice and relinquish one’s ego can work well with others. 

Gems of Wisdom - Self-confidence

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
   
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."
   
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
   
"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
   
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
   
One year later, he returned to the park with the un-cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
   
"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller."And she led the old man away.
   
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
   
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.

Gems of Wisdom - Delight in the success of others

Let’s be honest here. Have you ever found yourself secretly wishing someone else would fail? I don’t mean you wish them any serious bad luck, only that they don’t become more successful than you? Sometimes it’s hard to wish others well, particularly those you know well – friends, colleagues, neighbors, family members. It’s hard to see a colleague get the promotion you worked so hard for. It’s difficult to see your friend on television, or your neighbor able to purchase a new car. We’re human; we get jealous.
   
While it can be seductive, or at least habitual, to secretly desire to keep others at your level, it’s absolutely not in your best interest. The way to rise to the top is to wish everyone well, to hope with all your heart that everyone can expand to their greatest potential, to wish that the people you know, and those whom you don’t know, can all realize their dreams and achieve greatness.
   
When you wish someone well, it creates a momentum within you, an inner environment of success. It reminds your spirit of your loving and deserving nature. It creates the atmosphere within you to help you succeed and create abundance. When you delight in the success of others, it’s as if you are sprinkling the seeds for a garden of success.
   
As you wish others well, notice how good it feels. When your wishes are sincere, they will serve as a reminder that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Truly, it feels as good to see someone else succeed as it does to succeed yourself. Start delighting in the success of others and watch your own level of greatness soar!

Gems of Wisdom - Stay away from the blame game

One of the most insidious tempting habits is the habit of blaming others or external conditions for our failures, mistakes, problems, and lack of success. You might call it “the blame game.”

Blaming others is a very easy thing to do. It creeps into our lives in subtle, as well as not so subtle ways. It shows up in our thoughts and in our conversations. We might, for example, think to ourselves, “I’d be more successful if the products I were selling were of better quality,” or “I’d make more money if I had taken a different career direction”. We might attribute our lack of fulfillment to changing times, recession, a missed opportunity, or too little education. Or, we might complain “I can’t help it, no one ever taught me how to close a deal.” The habit of blaming can and does happen in almost any situation – we blame our competitors, employer, the government, our personal history, our age, even our parents or current family responsibilities.

It’s not that our tendency to blame is without any merit. There usually is a grain or truth in our complaints. But that’s part of the problem. We can almost always justify to ourselves why our version of the blame game is valid. But all that does is keep the game going. And in doing so, we move away from the solution. It’s really easy to blame our lack of exercise on our schedule – it’s little tougher to admit that we are not prioritizing.
 
Most of the time blaming isn’t blatant. It’s far more subtle. And that’s precisely why it’s hard to identify – and put an end to. Yet, if you can have the humility to admit that you, too, fall into this habit from time to time – and you can identify those instances – you will have opened the door to success in life.

Gems of Wisdom - Be careful what you ask for

Many of us spend a great deal of time wishing things were different. We dream of a “better job,” less of this, and more of that. Sometimes, the things we spend our energy longing for actually do (or would) improve the quality our life. Other times, however, the very things we wish for are hardly worth the trade-offs, or the effort. For this reason, I suggest you be really careful what you ask for.

Carefully think through what it is that you want, because you just might end up getting it, which is often – more frustration, more grief, more travel, more conflict, more demands on your time, and so forth. When you think in these terms, it often helps you reconnect with your gratitude and realize that perhaps things aren’t as bad as we sometimes make them out to be.

I’ve met plenty of people who spent years focused on how much better their lives were going to be when certain things occurred – i.e. when they were finally promoted to various positions – so much so that they took for granted the good parts of the position they already had. In other words, they were so focused on what was wrong with their careers that they failed to enjoy and appreciate the gifts they were enjoying all along.

Keep in mind that a better paying position might make you feel more financially secure and it might be worth it – but you may give up other things that you haven’t yet considered, or that you simply take for granted. Remember; be careful what you ask for, because you might just get it – and more.

Gems of Wisdom - Don’t keep people waiting

Time is precious to everyone. It’s a bad habit to keep other people waiting. Almost everyone feels that one of their most valued commodities is their time. This being the case, one of the ultimate slaps and most sure way to annoy someone is to keep them waiting. While most people are somewhat forgiving, keeping them waiting is a sign of disrespect. The subtle message is, “My time is more important than yours.”

Deep down, we all know that no one likes to be kept waiting. Therefore, it’s highly stressful to keep other people waiting because you know you are disappointing someone. In the back of your mind, you know well the person is looking at his watch, wondering why you are late. You may be keeping him from personal or professional commitments and that could make him angry.
   
There are obviously exceptions to the rule – times when factors beyond your control prevent you from being on time. Things happen to all of us, and no one has a perfect record. Truthfully, however, a vast majority of the time, being late is preventable by planning ahead, allowing a little extra time, or making allowances for unexpected problems.
   
Many times we compound the problem by making excuse like “traffic was horrible,” when, in reality, traffic is virtually always horrible. The problem wasn’t traffic – but the fact that we didn’t factor enough time in our schedule for the traffic. It’s likely the case that, even if traffic was horrible, or you got off to a late start, or whatever the excuse, the other person isn’t going to be interested or impressed.
  
I wouldn’t underestimate the negative impact of making someone wait. It drives some people crazy. And, even if they don’t express their frustration to you directly, it can show up in other ways – not taking you seriously, avoiding you when possible, being disrespectful, choosing to spend their time with others instead of you, showing up late to your future appointments, etc.

Gems of Wisdom - Be willing to seek out, listen to, and take advice

I believe that if someone has worked hard, achieved some measure of success, and is willing to help, I’d be a fool not to listen! Plus, as you probably already know, almost everyone loves to give advice.

Unfortunately, many people miss out on one of the surest shortcuts to success: to seek out, listen to, and take advice. So often, when a person struggles, he or she is very close to a major breakthrough. They are literally “an inch away” from achieving their goals and dreams. If they would just open their eyes to a blind spot, see something they are doing in a slightly different or new way, their success would be phenomenal and certain.

I believe there are many incredibly talented people who are on the verge of possible greatness, or on the verge of improving their life in a meaningful way. Yet this one tiny flaw – the unwillingness to listen to anyone else and the absolute unwillingness to take advice – consistently gets in their way. Don’t let this minor obstacle get in your way.

The advice is out there. People want to help you. Allow yourself to receive help and the quality of your life will soar.

Gems of Wisdom - Stop Anticipating Tiredness

I overheard two men speaking. It was as if each person was trying to convince the other, and perhaps themselves, how many hours and how hard they were working, how few hours of sleep they were going to get, and, most of all, how tired they were going to be. I wasn’t quite sure if they were bragging or complaining, but one thing was certain, they were appearing more and more tired the longer the conversation continued. 

The problem with anticipating tiredness in this way, or in any way, is that it clearly reinforces the tiredness. It rivets your attention to the number of hours you are sleeping and how tired you are going to be. Then, when you wake up, you are likely to do it again by reminding yourself how few hours it has been since your head hit the pillow. Who knows what really happens, but seems to me that anticipating tiredness must send a message to your brain reminding you to feel and act tired because that is the way you have programmed yourself to respond.      

Clearly, everyone needs a certain degree of rest. I’ve read a few articles suggesting that many, if not most, of us don’t get enough sleep. And if you’re tired, the best possible solution would probably be to try to get more sleep. But in those instances when it’s not possible to do so, the worst thing you can do, in my estimation, is to convince yourself, in advance, that you are going to be exhausted.      

I’ve noticed this habit of anticipating tiredness creep into the conversations of many people. If you are someone who does this, see if you can avoid the tendency as much as possible. If you do, you may find yourself feeling less tired.

Gems of Wisdom - Change what you can & accept the things you can't

There is prayer that says: “Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

In life there are things we must deal with. There are things we can change, that we have some power to control. There are other things that are absolutely beyond our control. Yet how often do we spend our time and energy doing absolutely nothing about the things we do have some control over, while whining and complaining about those things we can’t do anything about? Often, because we have our priorities twisted in the wrong direction, we end up chasing our tails and wasting time. Once we change gears, and focus only on those things that we have some capacity to control, it’s easy to get back on track.

It’s tempting to focus on aspects of life that are beyond our control. How often do you hear people complaining about taxes? While no one likes to pay taxes, and certainly no one should pay any more than he or she is legally required to pay, there is a great deal of wisdom in spending your time creating more wealth rather than complaining about taxes.

Go ahead and lobby for lower taxes if you must. Voice your opinion if you choose to do so. But once you have done what you can do, let go of it. Know when to quit. Expend your energy doing what you can do – focus on creation, creativity, positive ideas, and solutions. Stop complaining about taxes; focus, instead, on making so much money that taxes will seem irrelevant!

Gems of Wisdom - Top of the Pyramid

Humans are considered to be the most advanced of all the existing species. This is evident by the impact that Humans have had on the face of earth. So what makes us different from the other species? Or what makes us humans?

The first though that comes to mind in response to the above questions is “Intelligence”. It is the intelligence or the wisdom that a man possesses that makes him excel in all spheres of life. In the past centuries, human civilization has come a long way, From Realty space to Cosmo Space to Cyber Space. We have highly developed defense technology, advanced medical science and modern infrastructure that was a part of the last centuries’ sci-fi novels and movies. The success is not just the ability to soar high but also to have a keen sight to sense an opportunity. The opportunity to earn more money, eat good food, lead a comfortable life by inventing luxuries and searching for the opposite gender to satisfy carnal desires.

This is akin to a vulture which soars high in the sky, and with its keen sense of sight, it tries to search for something. What is that thing? Nothing! but a decomposed foul-smelling carcass (dead body). So much for the ability to fly high with a highly developed sense of sight, but the object of all this effort is to find a dead body to eat its flesh. This is called useless labor. Similarly humans with their highly developed intelligence, with high qualifications and advanced technologies try to achieve an end. What is this end? Trying to earn money for sense gratification. That sense gratification which is easily available even to animals like a stool eating hog.

Gems of Wisdom - Never write an email when you’re mad or upset

The Internet – specifically, e-mail—has done wonders to increase our capacity to communicate. With lightening speed, we can now write letters, share ideas and even close deals. The benefits are astonishing.

There’s a downside to e-mail, however, that’s important to be aware of. The problem is, it’s tempting, when you’re mad or upset; to fire off an e-mail that you might very well live to regret.

In a reactive or upset state of mind, or when you’re lacking judgment or perspective, it’s easy to act impulsively rather than with composure and wisdom. In the blink of an eye, you can confuse someone, hurt their feelings, enrage them, or even destroy a relationship.

The good news is, the flip side of this issue is also true. If you’re mad at someone and are tempted to share your feelings via e-mail – but you manage to resist – your restraint can pay enormous dividends.

Who knows how many relationships are ruined, or at least adversely affected, every day, by someone clicking “send” instead of simply walking away?

Some practical advice is this: Whenever possible, when you’re upset, refrain from sending e-mails. It’s dangerous territory. Instead, wait until you cool off. In the long run, you’ll maintain good relationships, and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Gems of Wisdom - Handling setbacks & failures

The question isn’t whether or not we will have setback, disappointments, and failures in life – we will. Rather, the question is, how will we deal with them? Will we become upset, immobilized, frustrated, and hopeless or will we take a more positive approach and depend on Lord in such situations?

In other words, setbacks and failures can seem significant, even insurmountable in the moment. Yet, once we get through them, we look back at them as a necessary, even important part of our success. A number of people have told me that some major failures were the best thing that ever happened to them. Sure, it was painful while it was happening, but it woke them up and taught them some important lessons in life.

Few people are successful immediately, never rejected, perfectly placed the first time around. It’s usually just the opposite --- trial & error, rejection, setbacks, failures, & so forth.

If you are defeated over and over again, you can focus on the fact that things aren’t working out, beat yourself up mentally, and feel hopeless – or you can learn from your mistakes, improve your skills, let go of the past, and move on.

All the frustration in the world isn’t going to change what has already happened – so why make a big issue out of it?

The trick, I believe, is being able to use not only our past setbacks, but the current ones as well, to help us grow and move on. In other words, when something doesn’t work out well, rather than dwelling on it and feeling badly, we let it go, see what we can learn, make any necessary adjustments, and move forward.

Learning to stop making a big issue of our setbacks is a powerful way to live a better life. Without the ongoing nagging and heaviness of self-directed criticism and worrisome thoughts, we free up energy to be creative, hardworking, and successful.

Gems of Wisdom - Never Ending Criticism

Once there was an old man and a young boy who were traveling with a donkey.  The young man was leading the donkey and the old man was riding on the donkey.  When they passed through a small village, some of the townspeople yelled abuse, "Look at this old man taking advantage of this poor young boy!  What a rascal!"  After they had passed through the village, the old man said, "We had better swap over, otherwise they will abuse us in the next village."  So then they swapped with the old man leading and the young boy riding.  But in the next village also they got criticized, "Look at this selfish boy, taking advantage of his grandfather.  He should let the old man ride on the donkey."  So then they both got off and led the donkey, but in the next village the people yelled out, "Look at these two stupid people!  They have a donkey, but they are choosing to walk instead!"  Then the old man concluded, "Actually, it doesn't matter what you do, people will always be critical."

Similarly the devotees try to educate us in science of God, Krishna, but we end up only criticizing all their ways. 

Gems of Wisdom - Express your gratitude toward others

The people we remember to thank, in person, with a thoughtful note or gesture, or a phone call, are infinitely more likely to help us again than those we take for granted or neglect to thank. It’s so obvious, yet so few people really understand how this works.

People love to be acknowledged, admired, and thanked. People love to be thanked, not out of any selfish need but simply because it feels good to be acknowledged. And when we are sincerely acknowledged, the acknowledgment acts as reinforcement that we have done the right thing. Thus, we want to do it again.

The next time you do something really nice or helpful for someone and they thank you, take note of how it makes you feel.

 It’s true that there are many instances where you would help someone again without expecting any thanks. However, you’ll find yourself even more willing to help someone who expresses their gratitude and acknowledged your help.

By engaging in constant gratitude, you’ll be guaranteeing success, happiness and better relationships.

Gems of Wisdom - Avoid the phrase: I have to go to work

This article has to do with six of the most common words in the English language: “I have to go to work.”

In all probability, it’s absolutely true that you do “have to” got to work. Nevertheless, these particular words carry with them some really negative baggage that, I believe, is self-destructive.

Other than your thoughts, your words are your primary entry point into your experience. When you “have” to do something, it implies that it’s not a choice – that you would rather be somewhere else, doing something different. This, in turn, implies that your heart isn’t fully into what you are doing, which makes living up to your potential extremely difficult and enjoying your experience near impossible.

So, when you say, “I have to go to work,” you are in a subtle way setting yourself up for a bad day. This doesn’t mean you’ll always have a bad day – but it certainly increases the likelihood.

Beyond that, however, there is a more subtle negative message you send to yourself and to others. It seems that deep down, what you’re really saying is, “I don’t like my work. I’m not capable of choosing work that I enjoy.” What a horrible message to say to yourself (or to someone else) about something you spend most of your time doing! Think about it. If you really loved your work, why would you be saying, “I have to go to work? Do you ever say, “I have to start my weekend now”?

Gems of Wisdom - Never ever backstab

There are many good reasons why we should never backstab. First of all, it sounds terrible and makes us look really bad. When I hear someone slamming someone behind his back, it says nothing about the person they are referring to, but it does say a great deal about the person who is backstabbing. To me, someone who slams a person behind his back is hypocritical or two-faced.
 
A person in a habit of backstabbing will put on a smile and say nice things to people but, behind their backs, he would act in a completely different way. To me that’s not fair play.


But aside from being a mean-spirited and unfair thing to do, backstabbing creates other problems as well. It causes stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings.


How does it feel to say nasty, offensive, and negative things about someone else who isn’t even there to defend themselves? Obviously, answer is so obvious that it’s almost embarrassing to discuss. I know that when I have backstabbed in the past, my words have left me with an uncomfortable feeling. I remember asking myself the question, “How could you stoop so low?” You simply can’t win this way.


Finally, it’s absolutely predictable that if you backstab someone, you will lose the respect and trust of the people you are sharing with. Remember, most of the people you’re sharing with are your friends or colleagues. It’s important to realize that, even if they appear to enjoy what you are saying, and even if they too are participating in the gossip, there will always be a part of them that knows that you are capable of backstabbing. They’ve seen it firsthand. It’s inevitable that they will ask themselves the question, “If he will talk behind someone else’s back, wouldn’t he be capable of doing the same thing to me? What’s more, they know that the answer is ‘YES’.

Gems of Wisdom - Be willing to apologize

Whenever you are in some service – or when you are taking risks, making things happen, interacting with others, or in the public eye – you are bound to make mistakes. At times you are going to use bad judgment, say something wrong, offend someone, criticize unnecessarily, be too demanding, or act selfishly. The question isn’t whether you will make these mistakes – we all do. The question is, can you admit to them? If so, the question becomes, can you apologize?
  
Many people never apologize. They are either too self-conscious, self-righteous, stubborn, or arrogant to do so. The unwillingness to apologize is not just sad; it is a serious mistake as well. Almost everyone expects others to make mistakes and with a humble and sincere apology, almost everyone is willing to forgive. However, if you are a person who is either unable or unwilling to apologize, you will be branded a difficult person to work with. And over time, people will avoid you, speak behind your back, and do nothing to help you.
  
The ability to apologize, to admit mistakes, is a beautiful human quality that brings people closer together and helps us succeed. By simply acknowledging our humanness and saying “I am sorry” when appropriate, we bond with others and increase their trust in us. Obviously, you must never apologize as a tool of manipulation, to try to get a response like this or to get something out of it.

When you apologize from your heart, you keep most of your existing doors open. Occasionally, you may even open doors that had previously been closed.