One of the most pervasive and destructive mental tendencies I’ve seen is that of focusing on what we want instead of what we have. It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have; we just keep expanding our list of desires, which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied. The mindset that says “I’ll be happy when this desire is fulfilled” is the same mindset that will repeat itself once that desire is met.
We want this or that. If we don’t get what we want we keep thinking about all that we don’t have -- and we remain dissatisfied. If we do get what we want, we simply recreate the same thinking in our new circumstances. So, despite getting what we want, we still remain unhappy. Happiness can’t be found when we are yearning for new desires.
Luckily, there is a way to be happy. It involves changing the emphasis of our thinking from what we want to what we have.
Each time you notice yourself falling into the “I wish life were different” trap, back off and start over. Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. When you focus not on what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want anyway.
Make a note to yourself to start thinking more about what you have than what you want. If you do, your life will start appearing much better than before.
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