Gems of Wisdom - Reactive v/s Proactive person

As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Look at the word responsibility -- "response-ability" -- the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.

Reactive people are often affected by their physical environment. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and their performance. Proactive people can carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines makes no difference to them. They are value driven; and if their value is to produce good quality work, it isn't a function of whether the weather is conducive to it or not.

Reactive people are also affected by their social environment, by the "social weather." When people treat them well, they feel well; when people don't, they become defensive or protective. Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behavior of others, empowering the weaknesses of other people to control them.

Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values -- carefully thought about, selected and internalized values.

As Eleanor Roosevelt observed, "No one can hurt you without your consent. They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them."

It is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place.

Gems of Wisdom - The key to effective confrontation!

The key to effective confrontation is to be firm yet gentle and respectful. Approach the confrontation with the assumption that there is a solution and that you will be able to work things out. Rather than assessing blame and assuming fault, try to see the innocence in yourself as well as in the other person. Rather than using phrases that are almost guaranteed to elicit a defensive response such as: “You’ve made a big mistake and we need to talk,” try instead to say things with a little more humility, something like, “I’m a little confused about something. Can you help me out?”

More important than the words you use, however, are your feelings. Try to avoid confrontation when you’re angry or stressed out. It’s always best to wait a little while until you get your perspective, or until your mood rises. Keep in mind that most people are reasonable, respectful, and willing to listen when dealing with a calm, collected person who is speaking honestly from his heart.

When you approach your confrontations in a gentle manner, it not only produces more effective results, but it keeps your own stress level down as well. There is something very comforting about knowing that you’re going to keep yourself cool regardless of what you must do. In addition, you’ll have fewer battles to fight, and those that you do have will be shorter and less severe. You’ll receive more cooperation and respect from others and, perhaps most importantly, your own thoughts and feelings will be much nicer.

Gems of Wisdom - Put the glass down!

A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?'

'50gms!'.... '100gms!'.....'125gms'...the students answered.

What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?

'Nothing' the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?'

'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress and paralysis and have to go to hospital for sure!' ventured another student and all the students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?’ asked the professor.

'No'

'Then what caused the arm ache and the muscle stress?'

'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.

'Exactly!' said the professor.' Life's problems are something like this.Hold it for a few minutes in your head and they seem OK. Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer and they begin to paralyze you.'

It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN more important to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh and strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

So, when you leave office today, remember to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!'

Gems of Wisdom - People you associate with will infect your thinking

Once, there was a pristine green field that was alive and lush, amidst the extraordinary bloom of springtime. Next to it happened to sit another field. This one was full of weeds, dirt and rough edged stones. This field was a testament to mediocrity and an acute lack of care.

Through the operation of nature's laws, the seeds of the weeds from the mediocre field were slowly blown over to the lush field. And so, day by day, the once stunningly beautiful one - with once awesome potential - succumbed to the influence of its low-grade next door neighbor.
   
Before the season was through, there sat two fields. Both completely overcome by weeds.

Important lesson:

Your influences and environments matter. The content of what you read/watch/listen will affect your thinking, feeling and willing. The people you associate with will infect your thinking.

John F Kennedy said, “You are the same today as you will be in five years except for two things, the people you associate with and the books you read.”

Gems of Wisdom - Be enthusiastic

When we are enthusiastic about what we do, success will follow!

Enthusiasm is a critical element of success. Enthusiasm is a virtually unstoppable, attitudinal force that generates energy, creativity, and productivity. When you love what you do, it’s difficult not to succeed. Your enthusiasm is obvious to everyone around you and contagious.

It’s important to ask yourself: How safe is it really, spending your time doing something you don’t enjoy? How well can you perform a task you dread? How creative and original is your thinking?

The answers to each of these questions are clear: Without enthusiasm, your odds of success are minimal. You will either struggle or burn out completely. But the opposite is just as true when enthusiasm for your work fills your heart.

Gems of Wisdom - Steps you can take to ease the sting of criticism

To become a top performer, you’ll need to open yourself up to feedback from those around you. Here are some steps you can take to ease the sting of criticism and begin to make it work for you, instead of against you.

1.Hit the Pause Button - It’s important to maintain your composure and not lash back or respond defensively to criticism. Take a breath. Don’t do or say anything. This brief pause not only helps you compose yourself and prepare to listen to what the other person has to say, it demonstrates your poise and self-confidence. Maintaining your composure when criticized shows that you’re in control.

2.Turn On Your Brain and Turn Off Your Emotions - It’s important to disconnect your automatic emotional response to criticism. Otherwise you won’t be able to objectively consider the value of the information. Focus on the words and facts, not on the feelings they generate within you. Regardless of how undiplomatic the other person is in delivering the feedback, tell yourself that it is designed to help you improve, not to tear you down.

3.Listen Carefully - Listen intently to what the other person is saying. If you’re busy formulating your rebuttal, you may miss some valuable information that can help you avoid errors in the future or improve your overall performance.

While any criticism can be discouraging, it’s important to keep in mind that negative feedback can contribute significantly to faster growth and higher performance.

Gems of Wisdom - It's called Mindset

It's called Mindset
As I was passing by the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg.

No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. I saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
   
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.

"I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.
   
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Wise say, “Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt.”