Gems of Wisdom - Stop worrying too much

Recently saw a survey that says:

• 40 percent of the things we worry about never happen,

• 30 percent are in the past and can't be helped,

• 12 percent concern the affairs of others

• 10 percent are about sickness--either real or imagined

• 8 percent are worth worrying about.

I would submit that even the 8 percent aren't really worth the energy of worry.

Did you know that the English word worry is derived from an Anglo-Saxon word that means to strangle or to choke? That's easy to believe. People do literally worry themselves to death leading to heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, nervous disorders and all sorts of other diseases. Is it worth it?

We just need to find a way to keep it from ruling our lives.

Try this:

• Analyze the situation honestly and figure out what is the worst possible thing that could happen.

• Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst, if necessary.

• Then calmly try to improve upon the worst, which you have already agreed mentally to accept.

• You know what you have to do; it's just a matter of doing it. Without worrying.

The point is, you can't saw sawdust. A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work. People get so busy worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, they forget about today. And today is what you have to work with.

Gems of Wisdom - Don’t let success go to your head

There’s an alarming trend: People who have had some degree of good fortune and success tend to lose their humility and become at least slightly arrogant. This is very unfortunate for many reasons. First, and most obviously, no one really wants to be around someone who is arrogant or self-absorbed. It’s boring, and it’s annoying! Arrogance implies a lack of gratitude. The assumption is, “I did this all by myself; it’s all about me.”

Factors such as our good karma, Lord’s blessings and so on are forgotten or disregarded.

In addition, when you allow success to go to your head, your stress levels skyrocket and your quality of life gradually disappears. People will stop liking you, and eventually, you’ll stop liking yourself.

Friendships slip away; obsessive busyness and a lack of time take over. Someone who was happy and relatively easy to please is now impossible to satisfy.

There are many celebrities, athletes, and business people who have done really well – their talent, timing, hard work, luck, and all the rest of it kicked in at just the right time. Yet, rather than being grateful and keeping a sense of perspective, they act as if they are somehow better or more important than others simply because they’re good at something and have enjoyed some success.

Don’t let success go to your head!

Gems of Wisdom - Take that first step

Every journey, however long it may be, begins with a single step. But you must take that first step. Once you do, each step takes you closer and closer to your goal.

Sometimes, when you consider taking on a new venture – whether it’s writing a book, beginning a new project, or anything else – the task can seem overwhelming. It’s as though you’ll never be able to arrive at your final destination, as if the first step isn’t going to help. When you look too far out toward the horizon, it can seem too difficult. You might even wonder where to begin.

The trick to success sounds very simplistic, because it is very simple: Just begin. Take a single step, followed by another, and then another. Don’t look too far out into the future, and don’t look too far back either. Stay centered in the present moment as best you can. If you follow this simple plan, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish over time.

Over and over again people plan about the book they are going to write, the project they are going to start, or the charity they are planning to help. But, in many instances, these plans and dreams keep getting put off until “the conditions are right.”

You will agree, in almost all cases, the conditions you are waiting for will not be significantly different next week or next year. Don’t worry that the conditions have to be perfect. The truth is, you are still going to have to take that first step!

Gems of Wisdom - Light a candle instead of cursing the darkness

Instead of complaining about what’s wrong we should take positive, solution-oriented steps (however small) toward improving a situation. It means being more a part of the solution rather than a reminder or reinforcement of the problem.

While we’re working, it’s easy to fall into the trap of spending our time and energy taking note and complaining about the way things are, the economy, negative people, greed, lack of compassion, bureaucracy, and so forth. After all, if we are looking for verification that the world is full of problems, we don’t have to look far to prove our assumptions.

If you take a careful look, you’ll notice that in most cases, thinking excessively about the problems at work, only serves to increase your own level of stress, thus making it even more difficult to do anything about the very things that are bothering you.

As we focus on the problem and discuss it with others, it can reinforce our belief that life is difficult and stressful, which, of course, it can be.

When we focus too much on what’s wrong, it reminds us of other things we disapprove of or wish were different, which can lead us toward feelings of discouragement and being overwhelmed.

It’s interesting, however, to notice that in many instances you cannot only make a dent in a problem, but actually reduce your own stress level in the process by simply choosing to “light a candle.” Simply put, this means making a suggestion or taking a positive step toward improving a source of stress. It means putting increased emphasis on a potential solution and less emphasis on “cursing” the problem.

Gems of Wisdom - How we feel depends a lot upon …

How we feel depends a lot upon what aspects of life we focus on and how we characterize our experience. In other words, when we describe our day, we might feel very justified in saying, “Oh God, it was awful. I was stuck in horrible traffic with millions of other angry people. I spent my day in boring meeting, always scrambling a few minutes behind. There were arguments and almost constant conflict to deal with!”

The identical day might be thought of differently. You might describe it like this: “I drove to work and spent much of my day meeting with people. It was a challenge, but I did my best to stay as long as possible at one meeting without being late for the next one. The art of my work is bringing together people who, on the surface, don’t seem to be able to get along very well. It’s a good thing I’m there to help.”

Can you feel the difference? And it’s not a matter of one description being “realistic and accurate” and the other being wishful thinking. The truth is, both are absolutely accurate. It all depends on the well-being of the person doing the thinking.

You can create a more interesting life, by re-characterizing your day and your responsibilities in a healthier way. As your mind is focused in a more positive direction, and as you’re looking for the gifts of your day instead of the hassles, you’ll begin to notice aspects of your life that may have been invisible to you. You’ll actually see things differently. Everywhere you look, you’ll see opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. You’ll see more solutions and fewer problems, as well as plenty of ways to enhance and maximize your experience.

Gems of Wisdom - Become less “controlling”

“Controlling” refers to unhealthy attempts to manipulate the behavior of others, having the need to control your environment, and becoming defensive or anxious when other people don’t behave to your specifications – the way you think they should be.

To be controlling means you are preoccupied with the actions of others and how those actions affect you.

“Controlling” is highly stressful – both to the controller and to those who are being controlled. A person who is controlling carries with him a great deal of stress because; occasionally we can influence another person, but can’t force him to be a certain way. To someone who is controlling, this is highly frustrating.

What hurts the controlling person is what goes on inside ---- his feelings and emotions. The key element seems to be a lack of willingness to allow other people to fully be themselves, to give them space to be who they are, and to respect – really respect – the fact that people think differently. Deep down, a controlling person doesn’t want other people to be themselves, but rather the image of who they want them to be. But people aren’t an image of who we want them to be – they are who they are.

The only way to become less controlling is to see the advantages of doing so. When you can make allowances in your mind for the fact that other people see life differently than you do, you’ll experience far less internal struggle.

In addition, as you become less controlling, you’ll be a lot easier to be around. You can probably guess that most people don’t like to be controlled. It’s turnoff. It creates resentment and adversarial relationships. As you let go of your need to be so controlling, people will be more inclined to help you; they will want to see you succeed. When people feel accepted for who they are rather than judged for who you think they should be, they will admire and respect you like never before.

Gems of Wisdom - When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect…

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?" Within seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"

The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"

Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four…"

The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him lose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"

Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"

The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?" Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"

The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.

In a voice that was low and hesitating, young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."

"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect. Don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."