Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It’s being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.
In some ways, the way we fail to listen is symbolic of the way we live. We often treat communication as if it were a race. It’s almost like our goal is to have no time gaps between the conclusion of the sentences of the person we are speaking with and the beginning of our own.
Slowing down your responses and becoming a better listener aids you in becoming a more peaceful person. It takes pressure from you. If you think about it, you’ll notice that it takes an enormous amount of energy and is very stressful to be sitting at the edge of your seat trying to guess what the person in front of you (or on the telephone) is going to say so that you can fire back your response. But as you wait for the people you are communicating with to finish, as you simply listen more intently to what is being said, you’ll feel more relaxed, and so will the people you are talking to. They will feel safe in slowing down their own responses because they won’t feel in competition with you for “airtime”!
Not only will becoming a better listener make you a more patient person, it will also enhance the quality of your relationships. Everyone loves to talk to someone who truly listens to what they are saying.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Let others have the glory
There is something magical that happens to the human spirit, a sense of calm that comes over you, when you cease needing all the attention directed toward yourself and instead allow others to have the glory.
Our need for excessive attention is that ego-centered part of us that says, “Look at me. I’m special. My story is more interesting than yours.” It’s that voice inside of us that may not come right out and say it, but that wants to believe that “my accomplishments are slightly more important than yours.”
The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected and considered special, often at the expense of someone else. It’s the part of us that interrupts someone else’s story, or impatiently waits his turn to speak so that he can bring the conversation and attention back to himself. To varying degrees, most of us engage in this habit, much to our own detriment.
When you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting other have it.
Our need for excessive attention is that ego-centered part of us that says, “Look at me. I’m special. My story is more interesting than yours.” It’s that voice inside of us that may not come right out and say it, but that wants to believe that “my accomplishments are slightly more important than yours.”
The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected and considered special, often at the expense of someone else. It’s the part of us that interrupts someone else’s story, or impatiently waits his turn to speak so that he can bring the conversation and attention back to himself. To varying degrees, most of us engage in this habit, much to our own detriment.
When you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting other have it.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking
Your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control. Have you ever noticed how uptight you feel when you’re caught up in your thinking? And, to top it off, the more absorbed you get in the details of whatever is upsetting you, the worse you feel. One thought leads to another, and yet another, until at some point, you become incredibly agitated.
Needless to say, it’s impossible to feel peaceful with your head full of concerns and annoyances. The solution is to notice what’s happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build any momentum.
The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball, the easier it is to stop. You stop your train of thought before it has a chance to get going.
Needless to say, it’s impossible to feel peaceful with your head full of concerns and annoyances. The solution is to notice what’s happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build any momentum.
The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball, the easier it is to stop. You stop your train of thought before it has a chance to get going.
Gems of Wisdom - Real meaning of peace
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peacefully towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on the nest - in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?
"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita (5.10):
One who is engaged in Krishna consciousness is then beyond contamination by sinful reactions, exactly as the lotus leaf, though remaining in the water, is not wet.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peacefully towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on the nest - in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?
"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita (5.10):
One who is engaged in Krishna consciousness is then beyond contamination by sinful reactions, exactly as the lotus leaf, though remaining in the water, is not wet.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Person hindering YOUR growth is dead!
One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big advice on the door on which it was written:
“Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral”.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!”
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: IT IS YOU”.
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your centre changes. Your life changes when YOU change, YOU become Krishna Conscious, when YOU go beyond your limiting beliefs.
“Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral”.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!”
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: IT IS YOU”.
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your centre changes. Your life changes when YOU change, YOU become Krishna Conscious, when YOU go beyond your limiting beliefs.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - When you say things in anger
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Winner never quits!
In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca Recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Guitars are on the way out." The group was called The Beatles.
When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."
Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralyzed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved.
You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace. A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS IN LIFE.
When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."
Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralyzed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved.
You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace. A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS IN LIFE.
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