Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It’s being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.
In some ways, the way we fail to listen is symbolic of the way we live. We often treat communication as if it were a race. It’s almost like our goal is to have no time gaps between the conclusion of the sentences of the person we are speaking with and the beginning of our own.
Slowing down your responses and becoming a better listener aids you in becoming a more peaceful person. It takes pressure from you. If you think about it, you’ll notice that it takes an enormous amount of energy and is very stressful to be sitting at the edge of your seat trying to guess what the person in front of you (or on the telephone) is going to say so that you can fire back your response. But as you wait for the people you are communicating with to finish, as you simply listen more intently to what is being said, you’ll feel more relaxed, and so will the people you are talking to. They will feel safe in slowing down their own responses because they won’t feel in competition with you for “airtime”!
Not only will becoming a better listener make you a more patient person, it will also enhance the quality of your relationships. Everyone loves to talk to someone who truly listens to what they are saying.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Let others have the glory
There is something magical that happens to the human spirit, a sense of calm that comes over you, when you cease needing all the attention directed toward yourself and instead allow others to have the glory.
Our need for excessive attention is that ego-centered part of us that says, “Look at me. I’m special. My story is more interesting than yours.” It’s that voice inside of us that may not come right out and say it, but that wants to believe that “my accomplishments are slightly more important than yours.”
The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected and considered special, often at the expense of someone else. It’s the part of us that interrupts someone else’s story, or impatiently waits his turn to speak so that he can bring the conversation and attention back to himself. To varying degrees, most of us engage in this habit, much to our own detriment.
When you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting other have it.
Our need for excessive attention is that ego-centered part of us that says, “Look at me. I’m special. My story is more interesting than yours.” It’s that voice inside of us that may not come right out and say it, but that wants to believe that “my accomplishments are slightly more important than yours.”
The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected and considered special, often at the expense of someone else. It’s the part of us that interrupts someone else’s story, or impatiently waits his turn to speak so that he can bring the conversation and attention back to himself. To varying degrees, most of us engage in this habit, much to our own detriment.
When you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting other have it.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking
Your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control. Have you ever noticed how uptight you feel when you’re caught up in your thinking? And, to top it off, the more absorbed you get in the details of whatever is upsetting you, the worse you feel. One thought leads to another, and yet another, until at some point, you become incredibly agitated.
Needless to say, it’s impossible to feel peaceful with your head full of concerns and annoyances. The solution is to notice what’s happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build any momentum.
The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball, the easier it is to stop. You stop your train of thought before it has a chance to get going.
Needless to say, it’s impossible to feel peaceful with your head full of concerns and annoyances. The solution is to notice what’s happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build any momentum.
The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball, the easier it is to stop. You stop your train of thought before it has a chance to get going.
Gems of Wisdom - Real meaning of peace
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peacefully towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on the nest - in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?
"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita (5.10):
One who is engaged in Krishna consciousness is then beyond contamination by sinful reactions, exactly as the lotus leaf, though remaining in the water, is not wet.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peacefully towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on the nest - in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?
"Because," explained the king, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita (5.10):
One who is engaged in Krishna consciousness is then beyond contamination by sinful reactions, exactly as the lotus leaf, though remaining in the water, is not wet.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Person hindering YOUR growth is dead!
One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big advice on the door on which it was written:
“Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral”.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!”
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: IT IS YOU”.
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your centre changes. Your life changes when YOU change, YOU become Krishna Conscious, when YOU go beyond your limiting beliefs.
“Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral”.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!”
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: IT IS YOU”.
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your centre changes. Your life changes when YOU change, YOU become Krishna Conscious, when YOU go beyond your limiting beliefs.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - When you say things in anger
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Winner never quits!
In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca Recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Guitars are on the way out." The group was called The Beatles.
When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."
Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralyzed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved.
You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace. A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS IN LIFE.
When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."
Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralyzed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved.
You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace. A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS IN LIFE.
Gems of Wisdom - Drinking enough water?
Water is an important structural component of skin cartilage, tissues and organs. For human beings, every part of the body is dependent on water. Our body comprises about 75% water: the brain has 85%, blood is 90%, muscles are 75%, kidney is 82% and bones are 22% water. The functions of our glands and organs will eventually deteriorate if they are not nourished with good, clean water.
The average adult loses about 2.5 litres water daily through perspiration, breathing and elimination. Symptoms of the body's deterioration begins to appear when the body loses 5% of its total water volume. In a healthy adult, this is seen as fatigue and general discomfort, whereas for an infant, it can be dehydrating. In an elderly person, a 5% water loss causes the body chemistry to become abnormal, especially if the percentage of electrolytes is overbalanced with sodium. One can usually see symptoms of aging, such as wrinkles, lethargy and even disorientation.
Continuous water loss over time will speed up aging as well as increase risks of diseases.
If your body is not sufficiently hydrated, the cells will draw water from your bloodstream, which will make your heart work harder. At the same time, the kidneys cannot purify blood effectively. When this happens, some of the kidney's workload is passed on to the liver and other organs, which may cause them to be severely stressed. Additionally, you may develop a number of minor health conditions such as constipation, dry and itchy skin, acne, nosebleeds, urinary tract infection, coughs, sneezing, sinus pressure, and headaches.
So, how much water is enough for you? The minimum amount of water you need is 2-3 liters everyday.
The average adult loses about 2.5 litres water daily through perspiration, breathing and elimination. Symptoms of the body's deterioration begins to appear when the body loses 5% of its total water volume. In a healthy adult, this is seen as fatigue and general discomfort, whereas for an infant, it can be dehydrating. In an elderly person, a 5% water loss causes the body chemistry to become abnormal, especially if the percentage of electrolytes is overbalanced with sodium. One can usually see symptoms of aging, such as wrinkles, lethargy and even disorientation.
Continuous water loss over time will speed up aging as well as increase risks of diseases.
If your body is not sufficiently hydrated, the cells will draw water from your bloodstream, which will make your heart work harder. At the same time, the kidneys cannot purify blood effectively. When this happens, some of the kidney's workload is passed on to the liver and other organs, which may cause them to be severely stressed. Additionally, you may develop a number of minor health conditions such as constipation, dry and itchy skin, acne, nosebleeds, urinary tract infection, coughs, sneezing, sinus pressure, and headaches.
So, how much water is enough for you? The minimum amount of water you need is 2-3 liters everyday.
Gems of Wisdom - Why Me?
Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?
To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over
5 Crore children start playing tennis,
50 Lakh learn to play tennis,
5 Lakh learn professional tennis,
50,000 come to the circuit,
5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon,
4 to semi final,
2 to the finals,
When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?"
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"
Be thankful to Krishna for 98% of good things in life.
To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over
5 Crore children start playing tennis,
50 Lakh learn to play tennis,
5 Lakh learn professional tennis,
50,000 come to the circuit,
5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon,
4 to semi final,
2 to the finals,
When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?"
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"
Be thankful to Krishna for 98% of good things in life.
Gems of Wisdom - The 90/10 Principle
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of milk onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. After a 15-minute delay you arrive at school. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the cup of hot milk cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did you cause it?
The answer is “C".
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, getting stressed out etc.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. Next time you react to any situation, remember the 90-10 principle.
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of milk onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. After a 15-minute delay you arrive at school. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the cup of hot milk cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did you cause it?
The answer is “C".
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, getting stressed out etc.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. Next time you react to any situation, remember the 90-10 principle.
Gems of Wisdom - If God allowed a life without any obstacles …
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gone as far as it could and it could go no farther.
Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.
Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.
Gems of Wisdom - Spiritual Thermostat – Maintain your own climate
Hammer it home to yourself, that the key to the matter of whether you are disturbed or tranquil, fearful or composed is not the external stimulus, whatever it may be, but your response and reaction. Your own response is what “makes” you feel fearful, anxious & insecure.
Do not emotionally respond to the scare “bells” in the environment. You are an “actor” not a “reactor”. We should not be like a ship that goes whichever way the wind happens to blow. We must keep our ship afloat and stable. Our ship must not be tossed and rocked and perhaps sunk by every passing wave, or even a serious storm.
Many times apart from the actual minor stimuli in the environment we respond to our own negative mental pictures. We impose our own negatives: This or that may happen; what if such & such happen. Stop scaring yourself to death with your own mental pictures.
We respond to these negative pictures as if they were present reality. Your nervous system can not tell the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined. The proper response to worry pictures is to totally ignore them.
Our physical body has a built in thermostat, which maintains the inner temperature at a steady 98.6 degrees, regardless of the temperature in the environment. The weather around you may be freezing cold, or 110 degrees. Yet your body maintains its own climate – a steady 98.6. It is able to function properly in the environment because it does not take on the climate of the environment. Cold or hot – it maintains its own.
Likewise you don’t have to take on the outward climate. Use spiritual thermostat to maintain an emotional climate and atmosphere in spite of the bad emotional weather around you.
Do not emotionally respond to the scare “bells” in the environment. You are an “actor” not a “reactor”. We should not be like a ship that goes whichever way the wind happens to blow. We must keep our ship afloat and stable. Our ship must not be tossed and rocked and perhaps sunk by every passing wave, or even a serious storm.
Many times apart from the actual minor stimuli in the environment we respond to our own negative mental pictures. We impose our own negatives: This or that may happen; what if such & such happen. Stop scaring yourself to death with your own mental pictures.
We respond to these negative pictures as if they were present reality. Your nervous system can not tell the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined. The proper response to worry pictures is to totally ignore them.
Our physical body has a built in thermostat, which maintains the inner temperature at a steady 98.6 degrees, regardless of the temperature in the environment. The weather around you may be freezing cold, or 110 degrees. Yet your body maintains its own climate – a steady 98.6. It is able to function properly in the environment because it does not take on the climate of the environment. Cold or hot – it maintains its own.
Likewise you don’t have to take on the outward climate. Use spiritual thermostat to maintain an emotional climate and atmosphere in spite of the bad emotional weather around you.
Gems of Wisdom - Reacting to criticism
So often we are immobilized by the slightest criticism. We treat it like an emergency, and defend ourselves as if we were in a battle.
When we react to criticism with a knee-jerk, defensive response, it hurts. We feel attacked, and we have a need to defend or to offer a counter criticism. We fill our minds with angry or hurtful thoughts directed at ourselves or at the person who is being critical. All this reaction takes an enormous amount of mental energy.
An incredibly useful exercise is to agree with criticism directed toward you. I'm not talking about turning into a doormat or ruining your self-esteem by believing all negativity that comes in your direction. There are many times when simply agreeing with criticism defuses the situation, satisfies a person's need to express a point of view, offers you a chance to learn something about yourself by seeing a grain of truth in another position, and, perhaps most important, provides you an opportunity to remain calm.
One of the first times I consciously agreed with criticism directed toward me was many years ago when a devotee said to me, "Sometimes you talk too much." I remember feeling momentarily hurt before deciding to agree. I responded by saying, "You're right, I do talk too much sometimes." In agreeing with him, I was able to see that he had a good point. I often do talk too much! What's more, my non-defensive reaction helped him to relax.
Reacting to criticism never makes the criticism go away. In fact, negative reactions to criticism often convince the person doing the criticizing that they are accurate in their assessment of you.
When we react to criticism with a knee-jerk, defensive response, it hurts. We feel attacked, and we have a need to defend or to offer a counter criticism. We fill our minds with angry or hurtful thoughts directed at ourselves or at the person who is being critical. All this reaction takes an enormous amount of mental energy.
An incredibly useful exercise is to agree with criticism directed toward you. I'm not talking about turning into a doormat or ruining your self-esteem by believing all negativity that comes in your direction. There are many times when simply agreeing with criticism defuses the situation, satisfies a person's need to express a point of view, offers you a chance to learn something about yourself by seeing a grain of truth in another position, and, perhaps most important, provides you an opportunity to remain calm.
One of the first times I consciously agreed with criticism directed toward me was many years ago when a devotee said to me, "Sometimes you talk too much." I remember feeling momentarily hurt before deciding to agree. I responded by saying, "You're right, I do talk too much sometimes." In agreeing with him, I was able to see that he had a good point. I often do talk too much! What's more, my non-defensive reaction helped him to relax.
Reacting to criticism never makes the criticism go away. In fact, negative reactions to criticism often convince the person doing the criticizing that they are accurate in their assessment of you.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - This Too Shall Pass
Everything – the good and bad, pleasure and pain, approval and disapproval, achievements and mistakes, fame and shame – all come and go. Everything has a beginning and an ending and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
Every experience you have ever had is over. Every thought you’ve ever had, started and finished. Every emotion and mood you’ve experienced has been replaced by another. You’ve been happy, sad, jealous, depressed, angry, in love, shamed, proud, and every other conceivable human feeling. Where did they all go? The answer is, no one really knows, all we know is that, eventually, everything comes and goes.
Our disappointment comes about in essentially two ways. When we’re experiencing pleasure we want it to last forever. It never does. Or, when we’re experiencing pain, we want it to go away – now. It usually doesn’t.
When something is happening that we enjoy, know that while it’s wonderful to experience the happiness it brings, it will eventually pass. And if you’re experiencing some type of pain or displeasure, know that this too shall pass. Keeping this awareness close to your heart is a wonderful way to maintain your perspective, even in the face of adversity.
Lord Krishna instructs in the Bhagavad-gita 2.14,
"O son of Kunti, the non-permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed."
Every experience you have ever had is over. Every thought you’ve ever had, started and finished. Every emotion and mood you’ve experienced has been replaced by another. You’ve been happy, sad, jealous, depressed, angry, in love, shamed, proud, and every other conceivable human feeling. Where did they all go? The answer is, no one really knows, all we know is that, eventually, everything comes and goes.
Our disappointment comes about in essentially two ways. When we’re experiencing pleasure we want it to last forever. It never does. Or, when we’re experiencing pain, we want it to go away – now. It usually doesn’t.
When something is happening that we enjoy, know that while it’s wonderful to experience the happiness it brings, it will eventually pass. And if you’re experiencing some type of pain or displeasure, know that this too shall pass. Keeping this awareness close to your heart is a wonderful way to maintain your perspective, even in the face of adversity.
Lord Krishna instructs in the Bhagavad-gita 2.14,
"O son of Kunti, the non-permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed."
Gems of Wisdom - Who or What is causing your problems?
When people fail, they often blame someone else for their failure. People blame others when they do poorly at work. Blame is also used to justify personal problems.
When you blame someone or something else, you actually make yourself weak and ineffective. You make yourself "effect" instead of being the "cause" of the situation. You give power to the person or thing you blame.
"Blaming something else makes that something else cause; and as that cause takes on power, the individual in the same act loses control and becomes effect."
For example, you lost a business contract and you blame your assistant. You are making your assistant more powerful than you. You might say, "My assistant messed up the appointment, "which is just another way of saying, "My assistant determines if I succeed or fail in keeping an appointment."
If you take responsibility, you would say, "I need to train my assistant so he doesn't make mistakes".
As another example, you might blame someone’s behavior for your stress and anxiety. This makes that person behavior responsible for your feelings. If you say, "That person ruined my mood," you are actually saying, "That person is so powerful that he can control my emotions."
If you wish to succeed in life, you have to end the blame game and accept responsibility for yourself. You only get ahead when you become "cause" over the situation and not the “effect”.
When you blame someone or something else, you actually make yourself weak and ineffective. You make yourself "effect" instead of being the "cause" of the situation. You give power to the person or thing you blame.
"Blaming something else makes that something else cause; and as that cause takes on power, the individual in the same act loses control and becomes effect."
For example, you lost a business contract and you blame your assistant. You are making your assistant more powerful than you. You might say, "My assistant messed up the appointment, "which is just another way of saying, "My assistant determines if I succeed or fail in keeping an appointment."
If you take responsibility, you would say, "I need to train my assistant so he doesn't make mistakes".
As another example, you might blame someone’s behavior for your stress and anxiety. This makes that person behavior responsible for your feelings. If you say, "That person ruined my mood," you are actually saying, "That person is so powerful that he can control my emotions."
If you wish to succeed in life, you have to end the blame game and accept responsibility for yourself. You only get ahead when you become "cause" over the situation and not the “effect”.
Gems of Wisdom - Look beyond behavior
Have you ever heard yourself, or someone else, say: "Don't mind, he didn't know what he was doing"? If so, you have been exposed to the wisdom of "looking beyond behavior."
While dealing with children, we all know very well the importance of - simple act of forgiveness. If we all based our love on children's behavior, it would often be difficult to love them at all. If love were based purely on behavior, then perhaps none of us would ever have been loved as a teenager!
Wouldn't it be nice if we could try to extend this same loving-kindness toward everyone we meet? Wouldn't we live in a more loving community if, when someone acted in a way that we didn't approve of, we could see their actions in a similar light as our teenager's bad behavior?
This doesn't mean that we walk around and pretend that everything is always wonderful, allow others to "walk all over us," or that we excuse or approve of negative behavior. Instead, it simply means having the perspective to give others the benefit of the doubt.
Know that when your assistant is moving slowly, he is probably having a bad day, or perhaps all of his days are bad. Looking beyond behavior gives us the perspective to not get upset and disappointed with every bad behavior of others.
While dealing with children, we all know very well the importance of - simple act of forgiveness. If we all based our love on children's behavior, it would often be difficult to love them at all. If love were based purely on behavior, then perhaps none of us would ever have been loved as a teenager!
Wouldn't it be nice if we could try to extend this same loving-kindness toward everyone we meet? Wouldn't we live in a more loving community if, when someone acted in a way that we didn't approve of, we could see their actions in a similar light as our teenager's bad behavior?
This doesn't mean that we walk around and pretend that everything is always wonderful, allow others to "walk all over us," or that we excuse or approve of negative behavior. Instead, it simply means having the perspective to give others the benefit of the doubt.
Know that when your assistant is moving slowly, he is probably having a bad day, or perhaps all of his days are bad. Looking beyond behavior gives us the perspective to not get upset and disappointed with every bad behavior of others.
Gems of Wisdom - Practice ignoring your negative thoughts
It has been estimated that the average human being has around 60,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot of thoughts. Some of these thoughts are going to be positive and productive. Unfortunately, however, many of them are also going to be negative—angry, fearful, pessimistic, worrisome. Indeed, the important question isn't whether or not you're going to have negative thoughts — you are—it's what you choose to do with the ones that you have.
In a practical sense, you really have only two options when it comes to dealing with negative thoughts. You can analyze your thoughts —ponder, think through, study, think some more OR you can learn to ignore them—dismiss, pay less attention to, not take so seriously. This later option, learning to take your negative thoughts less seriously, is infinitely more effective in terms of learning to be more peaceful.
If you have a thought from your past, "I'm upset because he scolded me for no fault of mine" you can get into it, as many do, which will create inner turmoil for you. You can give the thought significance in your mind, and you'll convince yourself that you should indeed be unhappy. Or, you can recognize that your mind is about to create a mental snowball, and choose to dismiss the thought.
The same mental dynamic applies to thoughts of this morning, even five minutes ago. An argument that happened while you were walking out the door is no longer an actual argument; it's a thought in your mind. This dynamic also applies to future-oriented thoughts. You'll find, in all cases that if you ignore or dismiss a negative thought that fill your mind, you become more peaceful.
It has been estimated that the average human being has around 60,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot of thoughts. Some of these thoughts are going to be positive and productive. Unfortunately, however, many of them are also going to be negative—angry, fearful, pessimistic, worrisome. Indeed, the important question isn't whether or not you're going to have negative thoughts — you are—it's what you choose to do with the ones that you have.
In a practical sense, you really have only two options when it comes to dealing with negative thoughts. You can analyze your thoughts —ponder, think through, study, think some more OR you can learn to ignore them—dismiss, pay less attention to, not take so seriously. This later option, learning to take your negative thoughts less seriously, is infinitely more effective in terms of learning to be more peaceful.
If you have a thought from your past, "I'm upset because he scolded me for no fault of mine" you can get into it, as many do, which will create inner turmoil for you. You can give the thought significance in your mind, and you'll convince yourself that you should indeed be unhappy. Or, you can recognize that your mind is about to create a mental snowball, and choose to dismiss the thought.
The same mental dynamic applies to thoughts of this morning, even five minutes ago. An argument that happened while you were walking out the door is no longer an actual argument; it's a thought in your mind. This dynamic also applies to future-oriented thoughts. You'll find, in all cases that if you ignore or dismiss a negative thought that fill your mind, you become more peaceful.
In a practical sense, you really have only two options when it comes to dealing with negative thoughts. You can analyze your thoughts —ponder, think through, study, think some more OR you can learn to ignore them—dismiss, pay less attention to, not take so seriously. This later option, learning to take your negative thoughts less seriously, is infinitely more effective in terms of learning to be more peaceful.
If you have a thought from your past, "I'm upset because he scolded me for no fault of mine" you can get into it, as many do, which will create inner turmoil for you. You can give the thought significance in your mind, and you'll convince yourself that you should indeed be unhappy. Or, you can recognize that your mind is about to create a mental snowball, and choose to dismiss the thought.
The same mental dynamic applies to thoughts of this morning, even five minutes ago. An argument that happened while you were walking out the door is no longer an actual argument; it's a thought in your mind. This dynamic also applies to future-oriented thoughts. You'll find, in all cases that if you ignore or dismiss a negative thought that fill your mind, you become more peaceful.
It has been estimated that the average human being has around 60,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot of thoughts. Some of these thoughts are going to be positive and productive. Unfortunately, however, many of them are also going to be negative—angry, fearful, pessimistic, worrisome. Indeed, the important question isn't whether or not you're going to have negative thoughts — you are—it's what you choose to do with the ones that you have.
In a practical sense, you really have only two options when it comes to dealing with negative thoughts. You can analyze your thoughts —ponder, think through, study, think some more OR you can learn to ignore them—dismiss, pay less attention to, not take so seriously. This later option, learning to take your negative thoughts less seriously, is infinitely more effective in terms of learning to be more peaceful.
If you have a thought from your past, "I'm upset because he scolded me for no fault of mine" you can get into it, as many do, which will create inner turmoil for you. You can give the thought significance in your mind, and you'll convince yourself that you should indeed be unhappy. Or, you can recognize that your mind is about to create a mental snowball, and choose to dismiss the thought.
The same mental dynamic applies to thoughts of this morning, even five minutes ago. An argument that happened while you were walking out the door is no longer an actual argument; it's a thought in your mind. This dynamic also applies to future-oriented thoughts. You'll find, in all cases that if you ignore or dismiss a negative thought that fill your mind, you become more peaceful.
Gems of Wisdom - Your relationship to your problems
Obstacles and problems are a part of life. True happiness comes not when we get rid of all of our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of advancement in Krishna Consciousness, opportunities to practice patience, and to learn to depend on Krishna more and more.
Certainly some problems need to be solved. Many others, however, are problems we create for ourselves by struggling to make our life different than it actually is.
We can become more peaceful by understanding and accepting the inevitable dualities of life—the pain and pleasure, success and failure, joy and sorrow, births and deaths. Problems can teach us to be gracious, humble, and patient.
Problem and difficulties are considered to be so important to a life of growth. It is felt that when life is too easy, there are fewer opportunities for genuine growth.
When you spend less time running away from problems and trying to rid yourself of them— and more time accepting problems as an inevitable, natural, even important part of life—you will soon discover that life can be less of a battle.
Certainly some problems need to be solved. Many others, however, are problems we create for ourselves by struggling to make our life different than it actually is.
We can become more peaceful by understanding and accepting the inevitable dualities of life—the pain and pleasure, success and failure, joy and sorrow, births and deaths. Problems can teach us to be gracious, humble, and patient.
Problem and difficulties are considered to be so important to a life of growth. It is felt that when life is too easy, there are fewer opportunities for genuine growth.
When you spend less time running away from problems and trying to rid yourself of them— and more time accepting problems as an inevitable, natural, even important part of life—you will soon discover that life can be less of a battle.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Admit your mistakes and errors
One reason Hitler lost World War II was that he did not fully understand the situation. Bearers of bad news were punished. Soon no one dared tell him the truth. Not knowing the truth, he could not act appropriately.
Many of us are individually guilty of the same error. We do not like to admit to ourselves our mistakes, errors, shortcomings, or ever admit we have been in the wrong. And because we will not see the truth, we cannot act appropriately.
Someone has said that it is a good exercise to daily admit one painful fact about ourselves to ourselves.
Look for and seek out true information concerning yourself, your problems, other people, or situation, whether it is good news or bad news.
Adopt the motto – “It doesn’t matter who’s right, but what’s right.”
Admit your mistakes and errors but don’t cry over them. Correct them and go forward. In dealing with other people try to see the situation from their point of view as well as your own.
Many of us are individually guilty of the same error. We do not like to admit to ourselves our mistakes, errors, shortcomings, or ever admit we have been in the wrong. And because we will not see the truth, we cannot act appropriately.
Someone has said that it is a good exercise to daily admit one painful fact about ourselves to ourselves.
Look for and seek out true information concerning yourself, your problems, other people, or situation, whether it is good news or bad news.
Adopt the motto – “It doesn’t matter who’s right, but what’s right.”
Admit your mistakes and errors but don’t cry over them. Correct them and go forward. In dealing with other people try to see the situation from their point of view as well as your own.
Gems of Wisdom - Be graceful when you're feeling bad
The happiest person on earth isn't always happy. In fact, the happiest people all have their fair share of low moods, problems and disappointments. Often the difference between a person who is happy and someone who is unhappy is not how often they get low, or even how low they drop, but instead, it's what they do with their low moods.
Many people take their low moods very seriously and try to figure out and analyze what's wrong. They try to force themselves out of their low state, which tends to compound the problem rather than solve it.
Intelligent people understand that both positive and negative feelings come and go, and that there will come a time when they won't be feeling so good.
So, when they are feeling depressed, angry, or stressed out, they relate to these feelings with the same openness and wisdom. Rather than fight their feelings and panic simply because they are feeling bad, they accept their feelings, knowing that this too shall pass.
Rather than stumbling and fighting against their negative feelings, they are graceful in their acceptance of them. This allows them to come gently and gracefully out of negative feeling states into more positive states of mind.
The next time you're feeling bad, rather than fight it, try to relax. See if, instead of panicking, you can be graceful and calm. Know that if you don't fight your negative feelings, if you are graceful, they will pass away.
Many people take their low moods very seriously and try to figure out and analyze what's wrong. They try to force themselves out of their low state, which tends to compound the problem rather than solve it.
Intelligent people understand that both positive and negative feelings come and go, and that there will come a time when they won't be feeling so good.
So, when they are feeling depressed, angry, or stressed out, they relate to these feelings with the same openness and wisdom. Rather than fight their feelings and panic simply because they are feeling bad, they accept their feelings, knowing that this too shall pass.
Rather than stumbling and fighting against their negative feelings, they are graceful in their acceptance of them. This allows them to come gently and gracefully out of negative feeling states into more positive states of mind.
The next time you're feeling bad, rather than fight it, try to relax. See if, instead of panicking, you can be graceful and calm. Know that if you don't fight your negative feelings, if you are graceful, they will pass away.
Gems of Wisdom - Fact versus Opinions
Many times we create confusion when we add our own opinions to facts and come up with wrong conclusions.
For example:
FACT: Two people are whispering when you walk up. Suddenly they stop talking.
OPINION: They must be gossiping about me.
FACT: A new lady is appointed in my department.
OPINION: They will ask me to leave!
FACT: He has reported about me to authorities.
OPINION: They will blacklist me. I am now ruined & finished!
Many a times we tend to behave negatively due to our own adverse opinions. We feel people per se are hostile & unfriendly. We become anxious & fearful for no good reason in a situation which is relatively safe.
It is said: “Men are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their opinions of the things that happen.”
For example:
FACT: Two people are whispering when you walk up. Suddenly they stop talking.
OPINION: They must be gossiping about me.
FACT: A new lady is appointed in my department.
OPINION: They will ask me to leave!
FACT: He has reported about me to authorities.
OPINION: They will blacklist me. I am now ruined & finished!
Many a times we tend to behave negatively due to our own adverse opinions. We feel people per se are hostile & unfriendly. We become anxious & fearful for no good reason in a situation which is relatively safe.
It is said: “Men are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their opinions of the things that happen.”
Gems of Wisdom - Echo effect or Mirror effect
What kind of friends do you have? What kind of employees? What kind of colleagues? So many times in life we get from others EXACTLY WHAT WE EXPECT!
In short the way we see people affects the way we treat them and the way we treat them affects the way they perform. This is called Pygmalion Effect (sometimes called the “echo effect” or the “mirror effect”).
Expectations can influence behavior: therefore, a manager may get better staff performance if he expects better performance. What we see reflected in many objects, situations, or persons are what we put there with our own expectations. We create images of how things should be, and if these images are believed, they become self fulfilling prophecies.
The feelings and tones which surround us can be changed if we work to change them by sending out the kind of signal we want reflected or echoed. We all have an audience of individuals and colleagues whose day, including their moods, feelings, and dispositions, will be influenced by the way we start it.
The Pygmalion Effect has met the test of scientific analysis.
• A study showed that experiments could raise the IQ scores of children, especially on verbal and information sub-tests, merely by expecting them to do well.
• A study showed that worker performance increased markedly when the supervisor of these workers was told that his group showed a special potential for their particular job.
In short the way we see people affects the way we treat them and the way we treat them affects the way they perform. This is called Pygmalion Effect (sometimes called the “echo effect” or the “mirror effect”).
Expectations can influence behavior: therefore, a manager may get better staff performance if he expects better performance. What we see reflected in many objects, situations, or persons are what we put there with our own expectations. We create images of how things should be, and if these images are believed, they become self fulfilling prophecies.
The feelings and tones which surround us can be changed if we work to change them by sending out the kind of signal we want reflected or echoed. We all have an audience of individuals and colleagues whose day, including their moods, feelings, and dispositions, will be influenced by the way we start it.
The Pygmalion Effect has met the test of scientific analysis.
• A study showed that experiments could raise the IQ scores of children, especially on verbal and information sub-tests, merely by expecting them to do well.
• A study showed that worker performance increased markedly when the supervisor of these workers was told that his group showed a special potential for their particular job.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Our failures in human relations
Most of Our Failures in Human Relations are due to “misunderstandings”.
We expect other people to react and respond and come to the same conclusions as we do from a given set of “facts” or “circumstances.”
No one responds or reacts to “things as they are,” but to his own mental images. Most of the time, a person “understands” and interprets the situation differently from us. He is merely responding appropriately to what – to him – seems to be the truth about the situation.
Ask yourself:
“How does this appear to him?”
“How does he interpret this situation?”
“How does he feel about it?”
Try to understand why he might “act the way he does”
In dealing with other people try to see the situation from their point of view as well as your own.
We expect other people to react and respond and come to the same conclusions as we do from a given set of “facts” or “circumstances.”
No one responds or reacts to “things as they are,” but to his own mental images. Most of the time, a person “understands” and interprets the situation differently from us. He is merely responding appropriately to what – to him – seems to be the truth about the situation.
Ask yourself:
“How does this appear to him?”
“How does he interpret this situation?”
“How does he feel about it?”
Try to understand why he might “act the way he does”
In dealing with other people try to see the situation from their point of view as well as your own.
Gems of Wisdom - Annoyed with someone?
Many a times we find an excuse for our failure, we blame the society, unfair treatment, injustice etc. Resentment or bitterness is an attempt to make our own failure palatable. However, resentment is worst than a disease. It is a deadly poison which makes happiness impossible and drains tremendous amount of energy.
Resentment is also a “way” of making us feel important. Many people get a perverse satisfaction from the feeling “wronged.”
It is an illusion whereby a person thinks, if he can feel resentful / bitter enough, and thereby “prove” the injustice, some magical process will undo the event of circumstances which caused resentment. Resentment is a mental resistance to or non-acceptance of something which has already happened.
Resentment is an emotional re-fighting of some event in the past. You cannot win, because you are attempting to do the impossible – change the past.
Resentment, even when based upon real injustice and wrongs, is not the way to win. It soon becomes an emotional habit. Habitually feeling that you are a victim of injustice, you picture yourself as a victimized person.
Habitual resentment invariably leads to self-pity, which is worst possible emotional habit anyone can develop. A person begins to picture himself as a victim and results in inferior self-image.
As long as you harbor resentment / hatred, it is literally impossible for you to picture yourself as a self-reliant and determined person. Your resentment is not caused by other persons, events or circumstances. It is caused by your own emotional response – your own reaction. You can control it if you firmly convince yourself that resentment and self-pity are not ways of happiness and success, but ways to defeat and unhappiness.
Resentment is also a “way” of making us feel important. Many people get a perverse satisfaction from the feeling “wronged.”
It is an illusion whereby a person thinks, if he can feel resentful / bitter enough, and thereby “prove” the injustice, some magical process will undo the event of circumstances which caused resentment. Resentment is a mental resistance to or non-acceptance of something which has already happened.
Resentment is an emotional re-fighting of some event in the past. You cannot win, because you are attempting to do the impossible – change the past.
Resentment, even when based upon real injustice and wrongs, is not the way to win. It soon becomes an emotional habit. Habitually feeling that you are a victim of injustice, you picture yourself as a victimized person.
Habitual resentment invariably leads to self-pity, which is worst possible emotional habit anyone can develop. A person begins to picture himself as a victim and results in inferior self-image.
As long as you harbor resentment / hatred, it is literally impossible for you to picture yourself as a self-reliant and determined person. Your resentment is not caused by other persons, events or circumstances. It is caused by your own emotional response – your own reaction. You can control it if you firmly convince yourself that resentment and self-pity are not ways of happiness and success, but ways to defeat and unhappiness.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - Think of your problems as potential teachers
Most people would agree that one of the greatest sources of stress in our lives is our problems. To a certain degree this is true. A more accurate assessment, however, is that the amount of stress we feel has more to do with how we relate to our problems than it does with the problems themselves. In other words, how much of a problem do we make our problems?
Problems come in many shapes, sizes, and degrees of seriousness, but all have one thing in common: They present us with something that we wish were different. The more we struggle with our problems and the more we want them to go away, the worse they seem and the more stress they cause us.
Ironically, and luckily, the opposite is also true. When we accept our problems as an inevitable part of life, when we look at them as potential teachers, it's as if a weight has been lifted off our shoulders.
Think of a problem that you have struggled with for quite some time. How have you dealt with this problem up until now? If you're like most, you've probably struggled with it, mentally rehearsed it, analyzed it again and again, but have come up short. Where has this entire struggle led you? Probably it has led to even more confusion and stress.
Now think of the same problem in a new way. Rather than trying to push away the problem and resist it, try to embrace it. Ask yourself what valuable lesson(s) this problem might be able to teach you. Problems can teach us to depend on Krishna more & more!
Problems come in many shapes, sizes, and degrees of seriousness, but all have one thing in common: They present us with something that we wish were different. The more we struggle with our problems and the more we want them to go away, the worse they seem and the more stress they cause us.
Ironically, and luckily, the opposite is also true. When we accept our problems as an inevitable part of life, when we look at them as potential teachers, it's as if a weight has been lifted off our shoulders.
Think of a problem that you have struggled with for quite some time. How have you dealt with this problem up until now? If you're like most, you've probably struggled with it, mentally rehearsed it, analyzed it again and again, but have come up short. Where has this entire struggle led you? Probably it has led to even more confusion and stress.
Now think of the same problem in a new way. Rather than trying to push away the problem and resist it, try to embrace it. Ask yourself what valuable lesson(s) this problem might be able to teach you. Problems can teach us to depend on Krishna more & more!
Gems of Wisdom - Worrying yourself to death
When it comes to stress, illness and wellness, it is important to remember that what goes on in your mind is reflected in your body.
People who continually worry and get stressed about their problems tend to develop tense muscles, become tired easily or get headaches. When their mind is stressed, their body becomes stressed too.
Dwelling on your mistakes and over-analyzing what could go wrong or what you could have done differently only drains your energy and distracts you from what you have to do.
Worrying only uses up energy and doesn’t really help your situation. Like acid, worry will just eat you away if you let it into your life each day.
There are endless things you can worry about…service, safety, health, future, etc.
But let’s face it:
Worry doesn’t change the situation
Worry won’t help time move any quicker
Worry won’t help you with your service
Worry just doesn’t help in any way…
So don’t do it!
People who continually worry and get stressed about their problems tend to develop tense muscles, become tired easily or get headaches. When their mind is stressed, their body becomes stressed too.
Dwelling on your mistakes and over-analyzing what could go wrong or what you could have done differently only drains your energy and distracts you from what you have to do.
Worrying only uses up energy and doesn’t really help your situation. Like acid, worry will just eat you away if you let it into your life each day.
There are endless things you can worry about…service, safety, health, future, etc.
But let’s face it:
Worry doesn’t change the situation
Worry won’t help time move any quicker
Worry won’t help you with your service
Worry just doesn’t help in any way…
So don’t do it!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Gems of Wisdom - What are others trying to teach me?
The people you meet are all here to teach you something. Perhaps the angry donor or disrespectful employee is here to teach you about patience.
Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. You'll find that if you do this, you'll be far less annoyed, bothered, and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people. You can actually get yourself in the habit of approaching life in this manner and, if you do, you'll be glad you did.
Often, once you discover what someone is trying to teach you, it's easy to let go of your frustration. For example, suppose you're in the post office and the postal clerk appears to be intentionally moving slowly. Rather than feeling frustrated, ask yourself the question, "What is he trying to teach me?" Maybe you need to learn about compassion—how hard it would be to have a job that you don't like. Or perhaps you could learn a little more about being patient. Standing in line is an excellent opportunity to break your habit of feeling impatient.
All you're really doing is changing your perception from "Why are they doing this?" to "What are they trying to teach me?"
Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. You'll find that if you do this, you'll be far less annoyed, bothered, and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people. You can actually get yourself in the habit of approaching life in this manner and, if you do, you'll be glad you did.
Often, once you discover what someone is trying to teach you, it's easy to let go of your frustration. For example, suppose you're in the post office and the postal clerk appears to be intentionally moving slowly. Rather than feeling frustrated, ask yourself the question, "What is he trying to teach me?" Maybe you need to learn about compassion—how hard it would be to have a job that you don't like. Or perhaps you could learn a little more about being patient. Standing in line is an excellent opportunity to break your habit of feeling impatient.
All you're really doing is changing your perception from "Why are they doing this?" to "What are they trying to teach me?"
Gems of Wisdom - Stop blaming others
Blaming has become extremely common in our culture. On a personal level, it has led us to believe that we are never completely responsible for our own actions, problems, or happiness. When we are in the habit of blaming others, we will blame others for our anger, frustration, depression, stress, and unhappiness.
In terms of personal happiness, you cannot be peaceful while at the same time blaming others. Surely there are times when other people and/or circumstances contribute to our problems, but it is we who must rise to the occasion and take responsibility for our own happiness.
As an experiment, notice what happens when you stop blaming others for anything and everything in your life. This doesn't mean you don't hold people accountable for their actions, but that you hold yourself accountable for your own happiness and for your reactions to other people and the circumstances around you.
Blaming others takes an enormous amount of mental energy. It's a "drag-me-down" mind-set that creates stress and disease. Blaming makes you feel powerless over your own life because your happiness is dependent on the actions and behavior of others, which you can't control.
When you stop blaming others, you will regain your sense of personal power. You will see yourself as a choice maker. You will know that when you are upset, you are playing a key role in the creation of your own feelings. This means that you can also play a key role in creating new, more positive feelings. Life is easier to manage when you stop blaming others.
In terms of personal happiness, you cannot be peaceful while at the same time blaming others. Surely there are times when other people and/or circumstances contribute to our problems, but it is we who must rise to the occasion and take responsibility for our own happiness.
As an experiment, notice what happens when you stop blaming others for anything and everything in your life. This doesn't mean you don't hold people accountable for their actions, but that you hold yourself accountable for your own happiness and for your reactions to other people and the circumstances around you.
Blaming others takes an enormous amount of mental energy. It's a "drag-me-down" mind-set that creates stress and disease. Blaming makes you feel powerless over your own life because your happiness is dependent on the actions and behavior of others, which you can't control.
When you stop blaming others, you will regain your sense of personal power. You will see yourself as a choice maker. You will know that when you are upset, you are playing a key role in the creation of your own feelings. This means that you can also play a key role in creating new, more positive feelings. Life is easier to manage when you stop blaming others.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Leadership......
I have read a quote some where about Leadership and i felt that it is kind of definition for Leadership. The below is the one....
“Leadership is about inspiration—of oneself and of others. Great leadership is about human experiences. Leadership is not a formula or a program, it is a human activity that comes from the heart and considers the hearts of others. It is an attitude, not a routine.”
But most of us thinking delegation is Leadership. We can definitely get thinks done from delegate but they will never follow us....
Some of powerful leaders (those who fit for the above quote) in this world might not be having huge crowd following them but many people in this world will unconsciously follow them.
“Leadership is about inspiration—of oneself and of others. Great leadership is about human experiences. Leadership is not a formula or a program, it is a human activity that comes from the heart and considers the hearts of others. It is an attitude, not a routine.”
But most of us thinking delegation is Leadership. We can definitely get thinks done from delegate but they will never follow us....
Some of powerful leaders (those who fit for the above quote) in this world might not be having huge crowd following them but many people in this world will unconsciously follow them.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Just a Start.......
There are so many thinks inspired me to start this blog. I feel always good and happy if I share my experience and knowledge with others and this blog going to be my best medium to share some of my experience, knowledge and emotions etc.,
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